Heat


Author: wanderingsmith
Feb 2008
Summary: When a woman needs...
Warning: sometime into season 2, before TLG - I write Carson to my phonetics.  You have a problem with that, don't read this.
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

AN: sometime into season 2, after which I am going AU for a month. Chapter 1 is merely an excuse for Chapter 2; and 3...:).


-s-e-x-s-e-x-s-e-x-s-e-x- WARNING -s-e-x-s-e-x-s-e-x-s-e-x-


Goto Chapter 2: When a woman needs a man
Goto Chapter 3: Morning has broken
Goto Chapter 4: Another day


Chapter one: Frustration

AN: many many thanks to leave_me_light for helping to find the nagging flaw.. and fix it! :)


"Aw, Hell! That's enough."

John was left standing there with his mouth open in shock as Elizabeth stalked away. Shaking her head and grumbling to herself.

She couldn't believe she was doing this. Actually going to the doctor for such a crazy reason!

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The day before

Elizabeth watched Ronon and John run down the corridor like schoolboys, obviously just released by the doctor from their post-mission exams and tossing an improvised ball back and forth.

The last month had been so calm, people were starting to loosen up. The constant threat of annihilation seeming a little further away. Even the lack of contact with the SGC the last few days wasn't completely unexpected, there had been mumbles of some new idea being tried out to fight the Ori. Wouldn't be the first time that that had made them incommunicado. They'd find out when the Daedalus got back in a week.

She just wished, whimsically, that she could join the boys. She couldn't remember the last time she'd played toss the ball.

Turning back resolutely to the explanation Rodney was trying to give her about some program he'd designed, she didn't notice the odd tension growing at her core.

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Having finally escaped Rodney, she sat down at her desk, taking a few minutes to drink her coffee and shake the scientific gibberish out of her head while her computer booted up.

The moment of mental quietness made her notice the tight over-awareness in her loins. Her brows rose in surprise; now that was something she hadn't felt in a while. She actually had to think when the last time was that she'd been in a relationship where her body anticipated sex while she was still at work.

A bittersweet smile slipped over her lips. It wasn't that she missed her youth or felt old, but just for a few moments, she allowed herself the luxury of regretting the intimate loneliness that had overtaken her life. Even before she'd come to Atlantis, her relationship with Simon had been... quiet. She'd counted on its presence, on his presence, at the end of her usually extended stays in foreign locales. He was part of 'going home'. And yet...

When she'd been offered Atlantis, deep down she had to admit that staying on Earth just so they could be together, had not really occurred to her. She'd miss companionship, but just as she knew that he would get over her and carry on with his life, she also knew she would adapt quickly to the life of Atlantis.

And so she had. Though it was lonelier than her old life, that was only because she was the leader, 24/7, and had to keep that added distance to every person around her. Beyond that... she'd been just as alone in her life as negotiator.

She shook herself out of the funk as her email finished downloading; enough of this. She loved her job, her life and her friends; some very good and close friends. If some small part of her felt so greedy as to want still more... well, she was human.

Luckily she was an intelligent and sane human who could accept the existence without acceding to the wishes of little greedy parts of herself.

Happy with her pep-talk, Elizabeth sat up straight and got herself back to the job at hand. Giving her body a mental 'Behave!' look and smiling at her own foolishness.

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She just managed to get through the emails before being interrupted by her far-too-cheerful military commander.

After managing a whole month of missions where he avoided all trouble, as well as not having to deal in death in any other context during that time, John had taken to turning into even more of a playful imp the minute he was done with his duties. And as much as he always managed to find a way to interfere with her plans to work, she couldn't honestly say she minded. It was a rare visit these days when he didn't find a way to make her laugh, make her take a few minutes away from thoughts of what needed to be done. If Atlantis had been in danger, he wouldn't have done it and she wouldn't have been susceptible, but with the strange peace in place, they'd allowed themselves a rare taste of a closer friendship.

As much as she admired and duly respected his strength and skill during the hard times, this relaxed, playful side to him had a way of getting under her guard like no one's business. Not that she would admit that, or stop fighting him. They both enjoyed the battle of wills far too much.

As he tried to wheedle her into going to the mainland with him for the rest of the afternoon, leaning over her shoulder in what she suspected was all-too-knowing distraction, she suddenly realized her eyes had fixed on his lips and her pulse was...

Blushing and trying to hide the reaction, she frowned, snapping at him more sharply than she normally would have in such a situation.

As he abruptly straightened and moved away, losing his smile, remorse made her apologize and claim a headache for her temper. Feeling sorry to have ruined his good mood, yet still embarrassed at having responded in such an obvious physical way to his nearness. He gave her a half-hearted smile, eyes suddenly guarded and told her she needed to rest more. Then he just headed out.

She watched him walk away from her office, the stiffness of his gait showing that her apology hadn't taken the sting out of her actions. She grumbled at herself; great, just great. The last thing she needed was to start reacting like a teenager having her first crush with her second in command; with her best friend. Not only would it leave her unforgivably distracted, but she knew damned well he was experienced enough to recognize the signs. And then where would she, they, be?

Hopefully by the time he got back from his trip her body would have gotten over this little bout of sexual tension.

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She'd been working a few hours when she unconsciously squeezed her pelvic muscles as she shifted on her chair. The resulting low-level burst of pleasure making her gasp in surprise, eyes wide. Good grief, that was disconcerting, she thought. As she shook her head and went back to reading John's last mission report, she remembered overhearing a few male colleagues years ago, complaining about too high libidos at embarrassingly bad times. She grinned weakly, shifting in her seat again; well, she could certainly see where this would get annoying... especially for a man...

Her smile faded as she realized her earlier tension must be getting worse instead of better. Umph, first hot flash maybe. Though she hadn't thought that the term was meant quite this way. She didn't really want to contemplate if that was better or worse than a teenage crush.

####

Try though she did to concentrate on work, she kept getting more tense, the awareness of her body always hovering at the edge of her thoughts now. She could feel a slow pulse in her labia, feel heat suffusing her clit, leaving it sensitive, asking for attention. If her focus wandered from sitting still, her pelvic muscles would react instinctively and tighten, sending a further wave of sexual pleasure through her core.

By the time supper came around, her sense of humour was taking a decidedly sarcastic view of getting old. She hadn't thought that hot flashes included being aroused, she *really* hadn't. The now swollen heat at her core was stealing her attention at every turn, an itch constantly whining to be scratched. Even hijacking her thoughts to places they had no business being. Especially not during work hours. It was unsettling to find herself in the mental gutter while sitting at her desk. Those greedy little parts of her were pulling very sneaky stunts!

Thank God John hadn't come by again. Having him sit on her desk, less than a foot from her face would... she shuddered. No. Enough already. She was beginning to actually think of going to her room in lieu of eating and just taking care of this. Something she could barely fathom even contemplating.

After the third time reading the same line of a report, she got up in a huff, gasping as the movement put pressure on her clit. This was madness, how could her mother have failed to mention this little detail in her stories of getting older. Ignoring the little voice in the depth of her mind saying something might be wrong, she gave up the fight and walked carefully to her quarters, not looking at anyone, affecting a preoccupied look to hide her very real over-attention to walking.

If she moved just the right way, she could avoid giving too-sensitive parts any jostles, but every time she put her feet down, the impact sent vibrations to her core, keeping her very aware of how hot and throbbing her sex was.

When she finally got to her quarters, she just wanted to get this done, fast. So she fished in her bedside table for the familiar shape of her finger buddy, then laying down and slipping her slacks and panties off.

Clearing her mind of the inappropriateness of doing this during the workday, she ran a finger over her outer lips, finding them swollen and soaked, as though she'd been teased and aroused by skilled hands for hours. She moaned, no wonder she couldn't concentrate!

Taking an instant to bring a blank canvas to her mind, feeling banned images hovering on the edge of her thoughts, she got impatient to get this over with.

She let her bent knees drop to either side and slid her little friend in, starting on low, gliding up the inner lips to get it wet. As soon as the vibrations touched her nub, she felt the tingling of an orgasm start spreading up and out, muscles contracting sharply as she cried out, holding the vibrator in place through the pleasure.

Realizing as she caught her breath jerkily that the arousal wasn't gone. Was still twitching and throbbing as though nothing had happened. Itchy heat heavy through the pelvis.

'Oh crap. This is going to be fun.' She took some deep breaths, got up and tidied up, including a cold shower. Spent another 10 minutes practising Teyla's meditation exercises. Wondering how long this could possibly last.

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By the next day, Elizabeth was long since out of patience with anything and anyone.

She had barely gotten any work done in the evening. Hadn't been able to sleep. Tossing and turning, even trying her little friend again. Taking more cold showers than her bones could forgive her for. Finally getting up and going to the gym to use the punching bag; she'd ended up with sore knuckles, but she'd hoped it might help the mental frustration at least. The knuckles had actually helped the most: for a little while hurting enough to hold her attention. Though that only meant she ended up getting an hour's work done in the middle of the night. Sleeping was out of the question.

And now every moment that she didn't actively concentrate on something else, the heated throbbing at her core snuck in and captivated her attention. Thinking was both necessary and a strain: the most effective way to not feel her traitorous body, yet something that was hellishly hard to maintain.

She was avoiding Colonel Sheppard, avoided even thinking of him as anything other than a blank rank. Having learned the hard way that therein lay heightened torture. She could, mostly, avoid tensing her muscles if she applied half her mind to it, but when *he* was in her thoughts, or worse, anywhere within sensory range, the latent attraction she'd gotten so good at ignoring flared up and took over. Making her pulse with all but orgasm if she wasn't careful. Lord how she wished for the mere crush-like response of the day before.

She'd have paid more attention to Teyla's meditation tricks if she'd known she'd ever need them like this. She was almost at the point of wishing for a crisis, just in the hopes that it would focus her attention. But that little voice in her mind was saying that that might not be enough and maybe she should see the doctor. Ignominious thought.

Oh no. She saw the colonel coming toward her office, carrying a tablet and looking a little worried. Umm, a crisis meant spending a lot of time with... gah!

She used the 10 seconds she had before he ambled in to take some deep breaths, as close to meditation as she could do on such short notice.

"Elizabeth, I've been getting the weirdest reports..." when he heard her chair jerk back he looked up with a quizzical glance, just catching her furious expression and taking a step back, eyes widening in surprise.

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The moment the colonel had walked into her office she had felt her whole body react. Somehow catching his scent from across the room; which was impossible, right?

Their old attraction kicking in at a distance and with a force that she would never have given credence to. She had to dig her nails into her palm to get control back; for a second she'd been *that* close to jumping on him... Something was wrong, there was no denying that now.

So she found herself turning the last corridor to the infirmary, meeting Teyla on the same path and raising her brow, noticing that she looked like Elizabeth felt... uho.

####

Carson looked at the two twitchy, sharp-tempered women, usually some of his calmest, if not exactly obedient, patients and tried to think of the medical path to follow. "Not ta put too fine a point on it, but, have ye tried..." he twitched his hand, shrugging in apology at even having to hint at this, "yerself?"

Teyla answered first, "Yes!! It appears to make it worst." She was practically growling by the end of the sentence, and Carson saw Elizabeth nod grimly in agreement.

"Not even fer a time after..."

"No." This time Elizabeth replied, very shortly.

"And ye've never had this before?"

"Carson!!"

He raised his hands defensively, "Aye, Aye. Just had ta ask. Well, let me run some tests." he hesitated, frowning in concentration, "A wonder... A've had some odd complaints from a few other women these last hours."

"Odd?"

"Aye. They called it hot flashes, over-sensitivity and soreness... but a canna help but wonder if that was na merely euphemisms."

"How many?"

"Six since last evening. A'll call them back in fer more tests."

####

"Yer norepinephrine levels are very low. That should na cause arousal, but it could well inhibit the... effectiveness of orgasm."

"Why are they low? And what *is* causing.. arousal." Elizabeth looked at Teyla with a worried frown, "And why both of us?"

"That a dinna know Elizabeth. Though as a said, a've had some other odd complaints. None near as severe as you two, which is why a dinna find this before."

Elizabeth and Teyla exchanged another grim glance. At best this would be an embarrassment for them, at worst...  If the whole expedition was affected...  Her leader's mind came up with a scenario that made her wince.  Oh Lord.  "Carson?" she didn't want to ask, but hiding never made the Wraith disappear.  First things first, "How is our supply of condoms?"

The doctor turned to her with a surprised look, but seeing her grim expression, he turned appalled, imagining how most people would react to the sort of sensations in question, never mind the fact that there were damn few official couples on Atlantis. Never mind too the military rules in place. "I..." he hesitated, "A'll find out.  And confirm how many women are protected by the pill." He turned away, shaking his head and grumbling under his breath at this crazy job.

"You believe this is affecting everyone, do you not?"

Elizabeth looked at the Athosian leader, "Yes. I don't want to, but the chances are simply too high to ignore."

"Then we must speak with the rest of the senior staff."

They both winced, "I know Teyla. I know." Before she could tap her earpiece to call the meeting, Carson came back toward them with some tablets and water.

"Here, try these. Clonidine, which is believed by some to inhibit sexual response, and a muscle relaxant fer the tension. 'Tis the best a can come up with right now, short of putting ye under sedation."

"Definitely not yet Carson." Taking a fortifying breath, Elizabeth finally called John, Rodney and Ronon to the infirmary.

####

In the end, between keeping her negotiating face in place with a grip of iron, and Teyla and Carson's help, they managed to both convince the three men of the seriousness of the situation. And that jokes would not be permitted on pain of Teyla taking her fury out on the first poor idiot to try it. And Elizabeth taking on whatever was left.

Even Ronon looked intimidated by the dual feminine glares aimed at them. There were things that could make training and strength a poor defence. An infuriated woman, let along one you didn't want to injure, was definitely in that category.

It didn't hurt that all three men had had either encounters or reports of other women behaving oddly, which made it clear that everyone in Atlantis needed to be checked over immediately.

"Do we know how this is spreading?" McKay looked like he was choking on all the comments he was swallowing. "Maybe we should go into lock down?"  He watched as John and Elizabeth looked at each other. *Because* he was watching, he saw the colonel tilt his head and the slight wince that crossed his face, which obviously meant something to Elizabeth because her lips tightened and she nodded before turning to the rest of them. He rolled his eyes; he had a feeling this epidemic was going to make life very *interesting*, especially for his in-denial friends.

"It sounds like a lot of people are already infected... Unless all the other complaints were from people posted together?" Elizabeth looked the question at Carson who just shook his head. "Well then, if it's already spread... Being locked in a room isn't likely to do anything for the victim's nerves. And unless it's a locked cell, sooner or later they won't be able to take it and will leave, so we're not avoiding the 'other problem' this is going to bring. No one off-world at the moment, right John?" Either Carson's drugs were having a little effect or tackling the crisis was working because she actually managed to say his name without quaking inside.

When he nodded, they left Carson to organize his troops and Elizabeth got on a city-wide channel to order everyone to cycle through the infirmary, not bothering to give a reason beyond a suspected, currently non-lethal, infection. She ignored John's raised brow at the fib; what was she supposed to say, 'We're worried about an epidemic of horny women'? To a cityful of soldiers?

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John followed Elizabeth back to her office, trying to keep his jittering feelings to himself. Part of it was the familiar worry he felt whenever Elizabeth was at risk. Part was impossible-to-completely-control reaction to knowing the woman he fantasized about on a too-regular basis... was aroused.

How was a man, or anyone for that matter, supposed to react in such a situation?? And then there was the responsible commander in him thinking up all sorts of bad scenarios; between the dangers inherent in highly trained soldiers being tortured by their bodies until their patience snapped... To those same rule-bound soldiers being pushed by the same bodies to break rules...

It was enough to make him regret breakfast and wish for stomach medicine. Not enough to regret following Elizabeth to Atlantis though. Never that.

Elizabeth went to pace behind her desk as he forbore his usual seat to stand by the door and block the view through it with his body, even more worried at her rapidly increasing agitation. Where was his master negotiator's self-controlled mask? This woman was wearing emotions he was sure Dr. Elizabeth Weir would not have wanted aired publicly. He spared a thought to ask Atlantis to darken the glass walls, trying to give her that much protection against curious eyes.

She suddenly spat out, "It is so blasted embarrassing to be so bloody aroused when I'm supposed to be working!" Waving her arms in emphasis. The reprieve she'd felt as they concentrated on the course of action to take had passed and she was once again having to fight for every minute of sanity. At least she didn't have to pretend everything was fine with John anymore. Didn't have to hide her every reaction.

He raised a brow in momentary humour, thinking of times he'd had to stay seated after a meeting where his thoughts had strayed a little too much. Usually to her. Hoping he was helping rather than making matters worse, he replied honestly. "Yeah, actually, I do know what being aroused when you- shouldn't- feels like."

She was shaking her head even as he spoke, eyes snapping to him and fixing there. "No. You have no idea *how much* I want to slam you into that wall right now and..." Elizabeth clenched her jaw and turned away, mumbling under her breath and trying harder to regain some control, remembering in a rush that there were still some things she needed to keep to herself; *especially* from John.

John stood stock still, heart stopping for an instant as a chill of shock flowed through him, leaving growing heat in its wake. When his breath started again, his nostril flared, body reacting to the *very* personal direction of her words. Disbelieving that she could want *him* rather than just a man, or more likely, someone more worthy of her than him. And yet that look in her eyes just now...

He mentally grabbed himself by the scruff. Though he couldn't help being glad that whatever this was didn't actually play with the mind -as far as they knew- he still couldn't let himself take her words too far. She hadn't meant for him to know, at least not now, not this way. It would be a betrayal of a sick friend to take advantage of the situation. No matter how much he suddenly wanted to tell her... No. Not now.

Though a kernel of warmth deep inside was opening up, determined to *make* the opportunity to talk about them in the very near future.

Before he could come up with something intelligent to say here and now to break the tension, Teyla and Ronon walked in.

"Carson is running tests on everyone and Rodney is running sensor sweeps to see if he can find anything out of the ordinary in Atlantis. In the meantime, we have been trying to ascertain where this came from. The two of us," Teyla pointed at herself and Elizabeth, "Appear to have the most advanced symptoms. We are therefore assuming we were the first to be infected; assuming this is an infection. The last people to come through the gate, which is where Carson believes this started, were John and Ronon."

She stopped, sharing an unhappily significant look with Elizabeth, both of them pretending the men weren't present, "We were likely the first to greet them and quite possibly stood closer to them than anyone else would have. Carson and Rodney would like air, water and soil samples from the planet they visited." She rolled her eyes, "And Carson does not recommend any women set foot there. Since there is a choice, even HASMAT-suited, he feels it would be safer to send a male."

"Bet you never thought you'd be glad to have twisted your ankle before a mission." Ronon tried a gentle tease at the Athosian, getting a mild glare in return. John looked at Teyla and silently agreed with him. A short-tempered teammate was bad enough, but he'd hate to be in her shoes in such a situation.

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By mid-afternoon, Carson had tested every woman in the expedition. Almost two-thirds showed the same chemical footprint, with varying degrees of severity. From Elizabeth and Teyla's dangerously tense state to a very few who hadn't noticed anything at all.

As Carson tried different medications to try to control the overt symptoms and ran every test he could imagine on both the unaffected women, and those who didn't feel any symptoms, Elizabeth was forced to call a general meeting to inform everyone of the presence of an epidemic. With the senior staff backing her up, every one of them with a very threatening warning glare on their face, she explained the exact medical nature of the problem.

She managed to be amused at the cultural dynamics being played out in front of her. The female military contingent had organized all the women into a block, separated from the men by the female soldiers. And every one of *them* looked ready to kill.

All that put together somehow kept the men's reactions to no more than the odd smile that was wiped off very efficiently when the female 'guards' audibly growled. From the sudden pallor of some of those men, she had a feeling that they were anticipating combat training becoming very dangerous. As long as no complaints made their way to herself or John, she found she really didn't care. Looked like after all this time dealing with military violence, she finally had a use for it.

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During the next few hours, as more and more women got beyond the point where they could work, Carson tried every drug he had available that had low sex drive as a side effect. Getting frustrated as he was forced to prescribe medicines, that weren't the most healthy at the best of times, simply in the *hope* that his patients would feel one of their side effects.

There was no choice however, as even sedatives did not stop the body's symptoms from progressing. Watching the way blood pressure increased and muscles started knotting, he grimly pressed Rodney to look for anything at all in the samples they'd collected. Himself trying to find what the women who weren't affected could possibly have in common with each other and not with the rest.

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Teyla, taking a run through the corridors to try to wear herself out, noticed one of the unaffected women walking away from a closet at the same time as one of the male marines. She stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide as she mentally listed the women infected but without symptoms and compared the names to those that rumour had had in relationships for some time. Realizing as she did that most of the infected women had been part of the original expedition.

She closed her mouth with a snap when the matchup was exceedingly close. About to tap her earpiece to discuss it with the doctor, she saw Ronon turn the next corner. This time when her body's reaction jerked up a notch again she didn't try to fight it, instead she marched up to the surprised Satedan, grabbed his forearm firmly and turned him toward her quarters as she explained her theory.

There was a time to keep men on the path of leisurely courtship; and then there was a time to put an end to it. A leader must know when expediency is ascendant over the desires of the heart.

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Tiredness was making John edgy.

Worrying about Elizabeth would have made sleep hard enough, but knowing she was unable to rest had drawn him out of his room, convincing her to spend the night helping him clear out the mess in areas of Atlantis that they had found and not yet started to use. It gave him the chance to keep an eye on her without standing so close that it made her symptoms worse. And the physical labour gave her an out for the frustration without requiring mental concentration.

She'd even gotten him to sit still to meditate with her a few times. Not actually a bad way to spend a night, he had to admit. It wasn't often he could convince her to spend that much time with him. Unless they were under attack and... that just took the fun out of it.

Unfortunately, now John was starting to worry the situation was getting into critical mode.

He'd brought their breakfast to her office to make sure she ate and he could see the little good that meditation had done was long gone. Could actually see muscles twitching under her skin from the tension. Recognized her hunched posture and uncharacteristically loose clothing as signs of too-sensitive skin, like he'd gotten from sunburn.

Could see her getting agitated, body jerking unconsciously as she tried to fight her way out of her skin. Saw her hands suddenly turn to claws and attack her forearms. Even as he jumped up and covered the space between them, he saw blood droplets appear under her nails. Grabbing her hands in his before she could do worse, away from hurting herself, he pushed her into the wall where he could hold her hands immobile against the uncontrolled strength she threw at him, yelling, "Stop!"

And then he realized his mistake. He was standing too close; could smell her arousal, see her pupils dilate, her sudden complete focus on him. His own breath was suddenly panting, body reacting to her without stopping by his brain for permission; his memory of her voice as she told him point blank that she wanted him almost overruling even his fear for her safety.

He was having to fight them both and wasn't at all sure he could hold out for any length of time. Since he couldn't risk loosening his grip on her hands, he had to use his head to tap his earpiece on his raised shoulder, "Carson!" He heard the quasi-desperation in his voice, knew his eyes had to hold a matching expression.

"Colonel?"

"I... I need some help." He didn't like treating her like a madwoman, but for the moment she seemed to have reached the limit of her self-control. Her only reaction to his speaking had been baring her teeth and trying harder to break his hold.

Carson's head jerked up from his computer screen, hearing the strain in the man's cryptic words. "Where?"

"Elizabeth's office." John grunted as her knee slipped through his guard and pressed somewhere he really didn't need, which reminded him; he took a second to get Atlantis to darken the glass walls -again-. Damned socially embarrassing infection. She, they, had enough trouble with authority without such idiocy.

"Right. On my way."

Using a bent leg to push and hold both of hers to the wall, he started talking, trying to get her mind to kick back in, trying to keep his own distracted. "You have to keep fighting Elizabeth. You can't let this overrun your head. Keep thinking. Preferably about something really disgusting. Come on, what's the absolute worst thing you've ever been presented as food?" He tried a grin, hoping she would respond, carrying on when she didn't.

"Alright, how about... hey here's always a good one. Your parents. Think of your parents getting carried away and creating you." He was glad to see her wince, knowing it meant she could hear and understand him, at least somewhere in her mind. "Umm, Kavanaugh and a wraith queen?" For the first time in a couple days he was honestly smirking; how often would Elizabeth actually be grateful for his juvenile turn of mind?

Now he just had to come up with enough 12-year-old 'Ewww' comments to throw her off her one-track mind long enough for the doctor to get here. And then hope she didn't react to *him* the same way she did to John. He wasn't sure how he'd deal with that, especially right now... "Klingon gak. Slime baths. I even know a planet where you can get some really lovely lukewarm slime pits perfect for it. Complete with the most overpowering sulfur stench. Probably really healthy." Where the heck was Beckett, the scent of her had his brains too scrambled to come up with really good suggestions.

He'd been slowly getting closer to her without realizing, so that by the time Carson appeared, they looked about to kiss. Causing the man to say loudly, to get through to his friends, "Colonel Sheppard!!"

John jerked back, breath loud, eyes black. Wondering how much longer they could tread this line. He knew there were very good reasons why giving in right now would be worse than a bad idea. But he couldn't think when they were in such close proximity. And he wasn't willing to not be near; not be there to help.

As Carson stepped around the colonel and quickly injected Elizabeth with another dose of clonidine and a short-term knockout, the men shared a grim glance. If preternaturally calm Elizabeth reacted like this... What would they be facing in a few hours when the rest of the women reached this state...

As he saw Elizabeth about to pass out, Carson said, "Bring 'er to the infirmary colonel. A'll treat those scratches. And put her in restraints if necessary. Fer all the good that'll do." Turning away to give the man a moment's privacy when he saw him pause to just hold the woman in his arms closer. Silently giving a prayer for all their tired souls as they started walking to the infirmary.

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"Ye dinna understand colonel, between the fact that they aren't sleeping, even with medication, and the way their muscles are starting to knot from being tensed too long. On top of all that, the constant swelling will eventually start damaging blood vessels. And nothing a do is helpin'!!"

John gripped the man's shoulder, trying to calm him as he ended the sentence literally with a shout. "Carson! Take it easy. Losing our heads isn't going to help anyone. Just take it easy. So how long exactly are we talking?"

The doctor took several deep breath, finally nodding his head in thanks for the verbal slap. "A don't know *exactly*. A'd *guess* a day or so for the first."

"A day!!" John was shocked, he knew he shouldn't be but.. mere hours to figure out what was causing this and how to treat it. A day before his people... *Elizabeth*... started. dying.

"I believe I may have a solution." John turned his head as Teyla walked in, struck at how calm and 'herself' she suddenly looked after her unaccustomed tension of the last while.

"Teyla?" Then he saw Ronon walk in very closely behind the Athosian. Looking both smug and worn out. If the situation hadn't been so dire, John would have laughed; he still spared a smile to be glad for his friends.

"Lass?" Then Carson also noted the Satedan's presence and his brows rose, mind suddenly taking a new spin to the crisis. He grabbed Teyla's arm and dragged her to the nearest empty bed, quickly attaching her to monitors and taking blood samples.

####

"Yer hormones are normal. Dropping slowly again, but definitely well within normal for the moment. 'Tisn't a cure, but it should give us breathing room ta keep looking."

"Why would having sex be different from..." John gestured crudely with his hand, too exasperated with the situation to think of a polite term.

"Masturbatin'?"  In a better mood with a possible palliative on hand, Carson innocently played the straight-faced physician.

"Yeah," John knew he was blushing.

"A could guess yer mate's..."

"Mate??" John interrupted, frowning, the term changing the usefulness of Teyla's discovery.

"Mate. As in person ye're matin' with." John relaxed a tiny bit. Not relieved, but at least back to having a solution on offer. "As a was saying, a could guess yer mate's pheromones could have a strong effect on whatever is causing this."

"Pheromones?? Isn't that what animals use in mating rituals? Why would that have any effect here. And how?"

"Humans also produce pheromones colonel. It's not a confirmed science, but certainly there is enough results out there to say they exist. If a knew all the whys a would cure this! A'm just speculatin' that havin' male pheromones enter the endocrine system, fer example through the skin, which is one theory out there, could have a direct effect on the production o' the hormones that are wrecking havoc with the women. For that matter, whatever is at the root of this could be directly keyed ta pheromones, for all a know!"

"Well." John scratched his head with a sigh. "If the pools are anything to go by, it'll probably work for quite a few of them. Some of the men on Atlantis are going to have very fond memories of this. But for others..." he stared hard at Carson.

The man's eyes widened after a moment, "Ya can't be serious! Ye want me to *order* these women to have sex???"

John shook his head, discovering he could still be surprised by the craziness of this job. "We're talking about lives, Carson. You said yourself you had no treatment and only days to go. We can hope the ones without recourse are the least affected and that you and Rodney come up with something in time, but if not... Don't you think it'd be better if this was seen, by them and everyone that's going to end up involved, as a plain medical treatment?"

"Aye but...."


Chapter two: When a woman needs a man


Elizabeth looked up from yet another failed attempt at meditation when John came through the curtain around her infirmary bed. The grim cast to his features was all too familiar. "From the look on your face, you have bad news."

He sat down on a nearby stool, unable to look her in the eye. "Not *bad*. But you're not going to like it."

She blinked, "I'm not going to like good news?"

He took a deep breath, "Teyla stumbled on a way to keep this..." he waved his hand, "at bay." Out the corner of his eye he saw her perk up and just blurted out, "Having sex."

Elizabeth stared at him incredulously. He finally looked up with an apologetic wince and shook his head, "Carson and Heightmeyer are talking to the others right now, starting with the worst affected, and I already wrote up official dispensations from the fraternization rules. Most of the women are ones that the betting pools keep claiming are involved with someone. We're hoping they can be counseled that a relationship is a healthy thing; or at least that mutual respect can keep them alive."

By now he was back to staring firmly at his own hands, playing with a loose thread on his pants. "Who knows, maybe in the hours before they can't take it anymore, Carson or Rodney will come up with something and we can all avoid the repercussions this could have." He made himself look up, keeping his expression distant and neutral with a conscious effort.

She was still speechless, but then shuddered as the throbbing hit another high, again beating through Carson's drugs. John's jaw clenched, worry making him angry enough to get over the inherent embarrassment of the situation. With his report done, the doctor's deadline was in the forefront of his thoughts, forcing him to face the unpalatable thought that he might have to proposition Elizabeth on such impersonal grounds.

On the so-few occasions he'd allowed himself to think of their someday having a relationship, never. But *never*. Had he contemplated having to *talk* her into sex; let along for *medical* reasons!

"You-" he started, knowing it was his job, both as the commander of Atlantis while she was incapacitated, and as her friend, to make sure she did this.

"No!"  her response was immediate and vehement; complete denial of her continuing fight to calm down. Glaring at him in helpless fury.

He tensed even more, hating this. "Elizabeth! You are going to *die*! Surely there is *someone* you trust enough for this." He refused, in any way, to be the one to make this about him; them. She needed to live, no matter who ended up making that possible. If she chose another, he'd probably pound his fists and feet into the wall of some isolated room somewhere, but she would be alive and tomorrow would be another day.

"Die?" her voice was less strident, shocked surprise clearly making her mind kick in and think more logically.

He nodded, voice hard to make sure the words got out, "Yeah. Carson says maybe a day." Her eyes closed, concentrating on getting her breath back for a few moments. He softened his tone, "Please Elizabeth." Holding himself in check, not reaching for her as he wanted. Knowing what happened when they touched and still not wanting this to be about-

"You." Her voice was short. Not ecstatic, but not angry either.

His head jerked up, eyes widening in surprise at the capitulation, even as unasked-for joy flashed through him momentarily. He had to force himself to breathe calmly.

Her eyes opened on him and he slowly got up, knowing at least some of the relief he felt had to be visible. As much as he didn't like their hands being forced this way... it was still better than the torture of having her choose someone else, accept it though he would have.

He held out his hand to help her up but she shook her head, "Not here." He nodded, understanding they still had to avoid contact until they could have some privacy. Neither looked at Carson as they walked by him as he was explaining things to another of his patients.

####

Walking to her quarters, Elizabeth winced as they passed a worried-looking male marine heading for the infirmary, knowing that if not already, then very soon, everyone would guess why she and John were heading toward living quarters. Together. But what could she do. She wasn't a martyr, willing to die to be thought a virgin. And she wasn't going to use someone just so she could tell herself it was impersonal. She frowned, realizing she needed to talk to John before they did this. She refused to risk his friendship over this. To lose the far-fetched, long-denied hope of a possible future for them. To chance hurting him or losing his respect.

####

When she waved the door to her room open and invited him to precede her, John walked into her domain, maintaining a casual amble with effort. Keeping his uncertainty under wraps. Letting her set the tone and pace. It would be too easy for his clumsy self to take a wrong turn here and ruin... a lot. Bloody Pegasus galaxy and its bloody bugs.

Elizabeth watched him look around her quarters with an odd look on his face, as though he was seeing something other than the quarters he had visited more than once in the past. Watched him, the arousal maddening her deepening with the knowledge of what they were about to do, making her inhibitions drop another notch. "I hope you know I'm half tempted to just jump on you." Was that husky voice hers?

He turned back toward her with a grin, "Am I supposed to be worried? Because..." He stopped talking, nostrils flaring as she deliberately stalked towards him with a wicked grin of her own. His muscles tensing and skin sensitive; this bug might not drives men crazy, but it had to be affecting them for him to react so thoroughly to so little. Or maybe it was *her* affecting him so thoroughly. Still, he'd have to remember to get Carson to look the men over too.

Elizabeth stopped a few steps short of contact, mind remembering with a strain that they had to talk. First. Really. "I want you to know... No." She shook her head in frustration, not used to being so distracted in her own head. "I *need* you to know. That this isn't just..." her hands waved impotently, trying to assign a word from her usually extensive dictionary to the situation. To the two of them. To...

"You're not here because you happened to be near or handy. I want..." She took a breath and stood straighter, looking him right in the eye. "My wanting you isn't something this... disease created. I've been attracted to you since we first met." Her courage was bolstered by the lust lighting up in his gaze, "I can't say we would have gotten here so soon.. or even ever," she smiled disarmingly, trying to take the sting out of that. "but now that we are, I have no desire to act as though this is a short-term 'medical treatment'..." Her voice dropped, uncertainty overruling the evidence of her eyes, "Unless you do."

"No?"

She firmed her jaw, feeling more confident, glad she took the time to explain herself when she caught the uncertainty in his voice, a match to her own. "No."

He grinned slowly; maybe this wouldn't destroy them after all. He made himself relax and take this as the possible gift it might turn out to be. Keeping his eyes locked to hers, taking the three steps until he was before her, this time allowing himself, now that it wasn't against her thinking will, to feel gleeful at seeing lust. For *him*. In Dr. Elizabeth Weir's eyes.

The flyboy in him was determined to prove he was up to the job. The primitive in him, standing so close, could smell her arousal and needed no further reason. Thought was way overrated.

John dropped to his knees before she could stop him, growling unconsciously at the scent of woman, his woman, he was suddenly surrounded in. He reached for the fastenings of her trousers, his mind focusing on one thing and one thing only; bring his mate to climax.

Over and over.

Elizabeth's throat jammed as she watched him. She couldn't think anymore as her out-of-control arousal and the new anticipation left her tense but weak. Her hands settled on his shoulders as he lowered her pants and underwear, then stayed there to have something to hold onto. Too far gone to care that she was standing in the middle of her quarters, in the middle of the day, half naked. In front of her military commander.

Their eyes locked again, even as he ever so slowly brought his lips to her groin. Finally breaking the contact as he turned his head to kiss the inside of her right thigh, softly trailing his way upward, pleased beyond civilized reason with her jumping muscles and low moan. His hands firmly holding her hips still as she shuddered, instinctively trying to push her swollen sex to his lips.

There was a victorious grin pulling at his lips even as he reached the desire-soaked curls of her pussy. Part of him was shocked again at the fact that he was panting almost as much as she was. So hard he had to hold still for a minute, just flicking his tongue over her taut mound, his nerves gorging on those pheromones Carson had babbled about, unknowingly reacting to her. To the need permeating her blood.

Elizabeth was only faintly conscious of the fact that his hands were the only thing holding her up. Her whole being focused on the fact that she could feel him; feel his hot breath, so close to the core of coruscating heat in her. Feel his tongue toying with her. She was whimpering and didn't know. Her hands finally gripped his head and pulled him where she needed him and she didn't know.

Didn't know she screamed almost the moment he parted her labia with his tongue and closed his lips on her clit, searing heat at last spreading away from her pelvis as climax ripped through her. She didn't know that her lover's sweat was rubbed on her stomach as he continued to suckle her, that *his* pheromones soaked into her skin and coursed with her rushing blood through her system, already starting the process of making her body release the right hormones, allowing the orgasm to actually ease some of the swelling torturing her.

Hearing a woman scream had never been more arousing, more incentive to do anything, whatever it took, to make it happen again. What little of his thinking ability survived the very primitive urges running the show could still feel tension in her, even in the midst of her release; knew she needed more.

And only he would give it to her.

He could feel her nub still pulsing between his lips as her moans started to quiet and her fingers stopped digging quite so hard at his scalp. Wishing he could touch her, all of her, he promised himself that after this time they were moving to the bed. He opened his lips, feeding the primitive in him with a breath of his woman's pleasure. Then suckled her again, starting gently, flicking his tongue when he found a spot that made her initial uncontrolled jerk become a fight against his hold to get closer again, rather than away from his touch.

The experienced man in him knew to listen for what made her whimper, what made her hands clench. How hard, how long, where. He intended to know exactly how to bring her off, how to make her last, how to make her come in minutes. Wanted her to be so completely his that neither of them could ever contemplate being intimate with anyone else.

Elizabeth didn't know when she started chanting his name, barely intelligible through her moans.

But *he* knew, felt every syllable send pleasure right to his already too-restricted erection. Making him groan with his own need, the vibrations on her clit sending her over the edge again with a long-drawn-out moan.

He held onto her, grinning in silent satisfaction, as she came back down, noticeably more relaxed now. Licking gently at her dripping folds, finally getting to taste the tangy honey that he knew he had to have been unconsciously breathing in for last several days. That he wanted to slide his throbbing cock through.

He knew he had to move soon. His arms were objecting to the awkward work and his crotch was objecting to his tight pants, but she was still shuddering softly and he was enjoying feasting on the fruits of his labor. On the undeniable truth of her wanting him. On making her moan again with just the quick stroke of his tongue on swollen flesh.

God she was so bloody aroused. And his; all his.

As Elizabeth's head dropped back down from where it had been thrown back in the throes of ecstasy, her eyes opened on a sight out of her most intimate dreams, able now to think enough to enjoy it. The vision of John Sheppard on his knees with his face buried in her sex was one to blow the mind and make the release of a moment ago seem a thing of the past.

She had daydreamed of him on his knees before her in a few different situations and for reasons that sometimes had nothing at all to do with sex. But the dream that went with his tongue teasing her slowly into more pleasure, that was one she would not have willingly shared with anyone. Except maybe the man raising his head, blinking eyes dilated with arousal at her.

He rose, still holding her hips or she'd have fallen, giving her a slightly predatory smile before kissing her. Their first kiss, had either had the thought to spare. Her hands slid into his hair to hold him where she wanted him. Tongues dancing, demanding to taste. When she got the upper hand and sucked his into her mouth, imitating other activities, he jerked her hips to his groin in reaction, grinding himself into her, feeling her soak through his too-thin, way-too-tight, pants; making them both shudder with need.

Elizabeth felt his erection thrusting on her clit, taking her breath away again, forcing her to raise her head to pant, giving up the taste of her juices on his skin. John lifted her feet off the floor by her hips and stepped the two of them quickly to the bed. The hurried movements making her moan at the friction, his lips greedily taking the sound into his own throat.

When he would have laid her down and stepped back to undress, she put an arm around his neck, pulling him down on top of her, then flipping him next to her, climbing on top, holding his hands on the bed above his head. Finally finding a use for the self-defense moves that he had insisted she learn.

She knew he would insist on pleasuring her again, had gotten the message loud and clear when he so skillfully suckled her to a second climax when she was still recovering from the first. She wanted to make sure she gave *him* some before he stole her mind again.

Umm, first the glow from seeing him on his knees and now holding him prisoner... She grinned at him, their faces only a few inches apart, maybe he was turning her into a dominatrix. She could actually get used to this. Maybe some handcuffs...

Rather than waste time on a fantasy when the reality was flexing his hips, rubbing himself on her wet heat, she pulled back, tapping his wrists with a teasing glare to say she wanted them kept where they were, ignoring the happy smirk he'd been flashing her since she took him 'prisoner'. She undid his trouser carefully, then slowly tugged them down, tempted to take his underwear off with her teeth; ignoring the giggly thought for the sake of efficiency. This time. Sliding the boxers down, taking care not to go near the shaft that sprang out, trying to lure her attention away. Trailing herself teasingly, slowly, down his legs, keeping their eyes locked. Finally getting his boots out of the way to finish undressing his lower half.

She grinned at his intent gaze, getting up and pulling the last of her own clothes off. Stopping with a blink as she felt her earpiece get jostled, sharing a rueful look with John as he broke position to take his own off. Leaning down to give him an affectionate peck on the lips as they both laid their communicators on her bedside table. Going back to her spot at the foot of the bed, she stared at him with a raised brow until with a final chuckle he got back where she'd left him, the mood less hurried, intimacy deeper than it had been. Re-rooted in the relationship between them.

Suddenly being gloriously naked in front of this man felt exactly right. Finding herself much more curious about his whole body than she could remember feeling about anyone, she crawled onto the bed, starting back up his legs, dropping kisses on his calves, knees and thighs. She kept a teasingly lewd eye on her destination, wondering how long he would keep his hands where she had left them. Enjoying every twitch and moan she could wring from her man. Enjoying that he let her have power.

Dropping a last kiss on his hipbone, she let her hair stroke him first. Smiling for an instant with the thought of all the times that emergencies had arisen suddenly on Atlantis; thinking of showing up in the control room with her lover's precum in her hair... Glad John couldn't read her obviously wanton mind or she'd never hear the end of the teasing. She finally turned her head, feeling his stomach muscles tense under her balancing hand, hearing his breath jerk in its panting.

Going straight for the sensitive spot, she licked along the line running from his sack up his cock, relishing his muffled shout, straining to keep his hips on the bed with a forearm across his stomach, feeling her own arousal getting heavy again. His earlier ministrations meant she could bear to torture him for a little while before seeking her own satisfaction, but that was about it.

Happy with making him react so strongly, and finding *herself* reacting deep inside to the smell of aroused John, she stayed and suckled at the same spot. Unaware of the pheromones dumping into her system, only feeling their resulting dizzying arousal. Fingers alternating between very lightly running all along his length and teasingly playing with his balls. Finally letting his moaned mangling of her name influence her into letting him go. Pinching his thigh when he started to sit up and reach for her.

He fell back with a groan, voice a raspy growl, “Elizabeth, you're going to kill me.”

She grinned, not waiting for him to settle back down and start watching her again, taking him in her mouth in a tight slide, fingers massaging the base, bobbing torturously slowly on him. The feel of him flexing to her movements, the taste of him on her tongue, the incoherent groans spilling from him. All making her lose her already tenuous grip on thought.

John's mind was drowning somewhere between Heaven and Hell; when she moaned, the vibrations just outright threw him at the edge. Shock bringing in an instant of reason, he managed to hold on to the cliff with grim determination. Jerking upright quickly, reaching to haul her up for a searing kiss, one hand guiding her head for his ravaging, the other gliding up her now bare ribs to mould to her breast; the new sensation slowing his urgency momentarily. The soft mound on his palm, and her mewl of pleasure as he flicked the beaded nipple, filled more of those basic male needs he'd never succored to, let along allowed out, during his dealings with Elizabeth.

When she shifted in his distracted grip and straddled him, he was suddenly buried to the hilt in molten heat, every muscle contracting, breaking the kiss to gasp for air. Allowing himself to be pushed back down to the bed as his hips jerked, hands going to hold onto her waist as they both fought for breath in the new intensity.

Elizabeth didn't wait, couldn't wait, for her breath to steady. She reached for his shirt, shoving it up awkwardly. Glad he could hold himself in mid-crunch for her to pull it over his head. Needing to feel her lover's skin under hers. Moaning as his tensed abs and thighs thrust him into her as he lifted his arms, getting free of his last piece of clothing.

Splaying her hands on his ribcage as he returned to gripping her waist, warm skin and beautiful man, greedy senses thoroughly enjoying him for the second it took her body's demand that she 'get on with it' to get the upper hand again. Lifting her hips slowly until he was almost out, tensing her muscles to give the head of his cock a very intimate massage. The resulting tug on her clit threatening to make her muscles fail.

Wishing they could go more slowly but knowing there had never been a chance she could wait, she watched his reaction through burning eyes, wanting at least that memory. Gritting her teeth to keep the wildness inside her from taking over just yet. Faintly amazed that her authoritative military commander was letting her control this; letting her torment him when there was nothing to stop him bringing the superior strength of the muscles under her hands into play.

His eyes were squinched shut, jaw locked tight, lips parted, trails of sweat furrowing into his already-spiked hair, every muscle on his chest deliminated and tensed. She promised herself she'd take the time very soon to kiss every line. The hands holding onto her were digging into her waist as he moaned with every squeeze of her muscles. Body straining with hers to reach for the pleasure standing just out of their reach.

The tug of tendons and the draw on sensitive skin took her actions and spread the pleasure throughout her pelvis, finally breaking her will to torture him. She lowered her hips as slowly as she could manage, and then couldn't hold anything back anymore, riding him in a rapidly increasing rhythm, bending forward just enough for every stroke to hit her clit. Hands gripping his shoulders, her eyes locked with his now wide open ones within the curtain of her hair.

Then he moved one of his hands, bringing a thumb to stroke her clit. "Oh GOD!", she cried out as his fingers tracked to one of those spots he'd found earlier, stroking it quickly. Her eyes rolled as her movements got jerkier, whimpering. She needed... needed, God yes, so close. She could hear his voice far away, shouting or growling, too lost in her need to come to pay attention. And suddenly she was there, felt a veritable tsunami of pleasure appear and roar through her as she screamed; searing, scalding heat, muscle-knotting tension. Knocking out her every sense as it crested.

When she finally came back around to herself, she was as weak as a kitten. And as content. Her mind still in a gray fog. A soothing tingle playing itself out through her skin and veins, last ripples of pleasure rippling through her.

Laying full-length on John's body, his heartbeat pounding in her ear, his hands stroking her back... still feeling him inside. She smiled sleepily; hearing his breath catch as she clenched around him without thinking.

Relishing the thoroughly pleasured state of her body, feeling sleep freely calling to her for the first time in a few days. She had to force herself to move, even enough just to turn her head to kiss the lightly haired section of chest under her cheek, half-heartedly wanting to raise herself and kiss him properly, then sighed and let herself relax to sleep. Her last thought that they probably needed to talk; about life, about work. But she passed out before she could apply any power to doing anything about it.

John's lips kept twitching up in the corner, cuddling Elizabeth filling him with effervescent warmth. Glad she looked about to pass out considering how tired he knew her to be. For himself, he was just too hyped-up to sleep. His body was sated for now, but his mind was still playing catch-up.

Watching Elizabeth Weir give him head, watching her face as she rode him to her pleasure, sweat dripping from her forehead and between her breasts. His mind trying to concentrate on her, his body completely focused on everything she was doing to him, on getting to the heart of the blaze of pleasure she was creating.

Next time he would be on top, could taste her, follow every rivulet of sweat as her perfectly tight sheath brought him to such heady pleasure that he had no idea what he shouted, or how hard his hands had to have gripped her.

Even now, when he should be wiped out, just the memory, and the way she still held him inside her... he could feel himself responding again. What this woman did to him, he thought with a cheeky grin. As he lay there, mind slowly getting drowsy, enjoying every inch of skin to skin contact, ignoring his stirring cock, the reality of the situation settled into his mind.

Now that the chance of death seemed to be passing, the fact that Elizabeth was sleeping on him; that they had finally gotten past friendship, and with a bang at that! He wanted to laugh out loud with the exhilaration. If he hadn't been busy being used as a pillow, he probably would have done something as daft as a happy dance. He fell asleep with the widest flyboy grin on his face.


Chapter three: Morning has broken

AN: I sooo do not approve of stories that get derailed from the layout they were born as!  it means I have to consciously work on characters! which is a terrible terrible thing


When Elizabeth finally woke, it was to darkness and warmth, laying on her side.  Blinking groggily at the snore coming from her neck, she twisted her head slowly, trying to assimilate.   Stared at the unruly hair, attached to the head nuzzling her neck, attached to the arms wrapped around her stomach; the warm, powerful body moulded to her back as though worried she'd run away.  Her eyes widened as a smile broke on her lips, memory kicking in with the pleasant soreness she could now feel in some very private places.

She drowsed for a minute, feeling a deep, healing warmth coursing throughout her body; happily watching John sleep in the faint moonlight and remembering.  Enjoying not being uncomfortably aroused.  And not being alone.  She'd forgotten what a comfort feeling safe in someone's arms could be.  And she couldn't remember the last time she'd slept for so long.  Of course she'd had two sleepless nights before; and John had stayed up with her last night, which accounted for *his* still being out. 

She grinned.  Not to mention the other activities they'd gotten up to.   She closed her eyes in contentment.  Maybe it was partly the bug, but she decided she preferred to think that the intensity of feeling they'd shared, the selfless love she'd felt in his touch, was just them; and she would never forget it.  Would grow old remembering how John made her feel.  Hopefully with him by her side, she thought with a soft sleepy smile.

The reason she woke in the first place finally pressed its case and she disentangled herself gently to go to the washroom, feeling faintly hungry, but still too over-tired to bother.  She closed the door and had a short but hot shower in the dark before crawling back into bed, feeling more *human*, happy, clean and calm, than she had in a while.  Pulling the scattered sheets over them, she lay down face to face with the soundly-sleeping man in her bed, exhaustion catching up with her again as he wrapped himself back around her instinctively. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was just getting light when John woke, blinking in surprise at seeing the sun while still in bed.  Before his mind could kick in, he felt a body move next to him and his memory instantly crystallized.  In full-colour, full-sensory 3D.   For a few seconds he just lay there, eyes wide and mouth agape as he went over the afternoon before.  Finally turning his head to look at the beautiful woman cuddling him, just so he could convince himself this was real.

Watching Elizabeth sleep peacefully, he started to grin, jubilation taking free rein for a few seconds.  Now if he could just manage not to mess this up; please God.

Taking a deep breath and grimacing at the morning taste in his mouth, he carefully snuck out of bed and went to steal a quick wash.  Thinking more sanely than he had the day before, he couldn't help remembering how often in the past he'd made stupid mistakes, and how twitchy he always felt when someone tried to get close to him.  Not deliberately.  But inevitably it seemed.  With a flicker of unease, he even remembered having those damned little reactions with Elizabeth.  He shrugged the faint fear off as morning-after funk; if she wanted him, surely he could manage to use some of that control a colonel was suppose to have learned.  Surely he could manage to behave like an intelligent adult for her.  For them.  But if he failed...

Slipping back into bed as she turned in her sleep to lay on her back, her left arm flipping up above her head onto her adorably wild hair, pushing her torso up for the delectation of his avid view, he made himself swear he would get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness and mercy from her the instant he screwed up; or maybe just every day was safer... he was bound to make the mistake of not noticing a mistake.  He winced, to Hell with pride John Sheppard, you had *better* not let your stupidity steal this away.  As long as Elizabeth wanted him, he was damned if he'd let himself cause their time together to be shorter, he thought, tightening his jaw in determination.  Having this with her was well worth a little begging.  A lot, even.

Shaking himself out of the serious mood with a last prayer, he turned lascivious eyes on his bedmate.  Noticing with mixed lust and worry that she was getting aroused again.  Lust won out for the time being as he recalled promising himself to touch and taste every inch of the beautiful body stirring and twitching next to him.  Knowing that *he* could make her better caused warmth and almost-confidence to spread through his chest, pushing the worries out for now in favour of doing something constructive.

Remembering the wondrous effect the sound of her pleasure had on him, he carefully pulled the sheets completely off of them.  Faint thought to try to wake her in the best way there is;  very, very slow and soft, with nothing but pleasure throughout her body. 



Resting on his side, to her left, weight on his elbow, he laid the fingers of his right hand as lightly as he could along the right side of her neck, ghosting it slowly over her so-soft skin.  Over the shoulder, down the bicep; the softness followed by rounded bone and resilient muscle.  His eyes fixed on the pale forearm he was touching, sprinkling of hair glowing like sunbeams, ears listening for any sign that she was waking; losing himself in the flowing gentleness of the ethereal morning light.

Finishing the trace at her smooth palm, grinning as her fingers reflexively tried to close on his; feeling the warm, living heat, rising from her body, all along his forearm.  Following the vein back to her elbow, his fingers skipped over to the side of her breast, tracing the gentle swell, watching the tightening peaks of her nipples.  Holding back the temptation to suckle one into his mouth; instead tracing a slow spiral to the areolae, stopping just short of the hard bead.  Aware that his own arousal was growing, that he was licking his lips in expiation for denying them their temptation.  Fingertips following the slope back to its twin and repeating the process.  Her breathing was getting faster, but she still moved as in sleep. 

He kissed the ball of her shoulder as softly as he could, assuaging a little of the need to taste, closing his eyes for just a second and inhaling the scent of her sleep-warmed skin, faint trace of the lavender she wore wafting up.  He ran the pads of his right hand down her sternum, feeling it lift with every breath, slowly smoothing his palm down over the ribcage, learning her by touch.  More determined than ever that she should eat more often.

There were little doors in his mind snapping up each sensation, each feeling of delight and possession, building a bank of tender warmth that glowed deep inside, filling his body and soul;  making him feel more whole and alive that he'd have ever thought he could.  He had to swallow the soft laugh he felt rise up; just touching her brought him peace.  Who'd have figured.

As his palm continued down to her hips, he crawled along beside her, keeping his hand at eye level, enjoying the sight as much as the sensation, the visual confirmation of intimacy and closeness.  Lightening his touch when she reacted to the move by stirring more.  He wanted to arouse her body.  Wanted her to wake to pleasure.  Wanted her to always remember the first time they woke together.  Remember and want him.

Just letting the tip of his little finger stroke back and forth across her pelvic bone once.  Though he could feel himself being tempted by the glistening, swollen lips exposed by her having her left knee bent sideways, he kept his fingertips on the path to the outside of her right thigh.  Smooth and strong, bringing visions of both wrapped around his waist, pulling him as insistently closer as he wanted to be.  Flattening his palm to smooth down the vastus medialis, thumb still trailing just along the gracilis. 

Making himself remember long-ago learned muscle names to try to stay focused.  Her scent making him glaze over, nostrils flaring, eyes heavy-lidded, hips shifting to release the pressure on his stiffened cock.  It took effort to make himself move on rather than end the slow torture.  He bribed himself with gentle kisses to the scars on her knee, shadows standing in relief in the dawn light.  Trying to whisper darkly of the world outside this magic.

He went back to running the pads of his fingers along the outside of her leg, feeling her calf tense with his light touch, grinning to find remnants of painted toes as he wrapped his hand warmly around her ankle.  Giving in to temptation by kissing the tip of each digit.  He heard her breath catch on his name and looked up to see her eyes blinking open.

Feeling playful, he ran his tongue along the back of her toes, holding her foot firmly in place with his hand on her ankle when she tried to jerk it back with a gasp.  He grinned at her sleepy eyes, "Mornin', Sleepin' Beauty."

"John?"  Still not quite awake, Elizabeth watched as he shifted himself to between her legs, looking away from her to place a soft kiss on the top of her left foot as his palm trailed up her calf.  Somehow both submission and possession, his every touch bound them closer; two halves of a whole, hidden away in the silky, veiled quiet of the early morning. 

She felt warm and boneless; aroused but knowing he would be taking care of her.  Her whole body tingling and sensitive.  She shifted a hand to reach and comb through his hair.  Wanting even more contact with him.  "Good morning." 

He looked up briefly at her softly-spoken words, winking at her before returning to tracing the bones of her bent knee.  As gentle as his touch was, by the time he got to the apex of her thighs, her sleepiness had evaporated, replaced with an awareness of his every move, of *him*, that was a powerful aphrodisiac.  Not that she needed any, she thought, as he laid a gentle kiss on her mons, then continued his trail upward, kissing and nibbling along her ribs, holding her restless hips in place for his exploration.  The heat from his touch spreading more demanding warmth through her system, faint scratch of whiskers something she would never trade away.

He teasingly bypassed her swollen breasts to nibble at her throat until the desire thrumming through her veins got stronger than the gentle spell he'd woven.  She gripped his head, pulling it back to give him a mock glare.  He laughed softly, giving her his cocky grin, challenging her grip to drop a kiss on her lips before acceding to her silent order and finally taking a nipple deep in his mouth. 

She cried out softly, tension coiling up between her pelvis and his mouth, rocking into his thrusting hips to the rhythm of the slow suckles.  Her palms stroking his shoulder blades, aware of and further aroused by the heavy muscles flexing under her touch.  When he pulled more of her breast into his mouth, her hands clenched and she moaned, feeling too hot, too tight; too much.  He lifted his head, meeting her wide eyes as he shifted and slid easily into her, gritting his teeth to hold still long enough to stay in control.  Watching her eyes close as she gasped, legs wrapping around his hips.  The move letting him slide even deeper, rubbing right into the throbbing ache he'd created with his teasing. 

He took her mouth in a slow deep kiss, the touch feeling different with the beard still on his jaw.  Rocking together, each alternating between trying to speed up themselves, and slowing the other down; minutes crawling by like sweet molasses.  Finally needing air, he lifted his head with a gasp, watching Elizabeth's expression with every movement of their hips; mindless pleasure and seeming agony.  The same need that was growing too strong in him for this slow pleasure/torture.  Managing to fight enough loose out of the grip of her thighs, he added a little thrust to their movements, shuddering at the redoubled stimulation. 

Even as he bent his head and licked the trail of a drop of sweat along her shoulder, he felt her body stiffen, felt her suddenly grip him vise-hard; and the pleasure that had been threatening to break him got free rein.  Hearing her keening cry in his ear, feeling nails bite into his shoulders even as he drove desperately for his own release.  Moaning harshly as the tension screwed tight inside him, raising himself so his weight was on his hands, knees getting the leverage to thrust hard and fast. 

Trying to catch her breath, feeling hard spikes of pleasure throbbing through her with the pounding pace, Elizabeth nonetheless watched, his head thrown back and eyes closed, as sweat slicked down his forehead.  Hypnotized until a drop fell on her lip, breaking the spell.  Responding to the agony of need in his clenched body, she pulled herself up, licking the path of another droplet from his clavicle to his ear.  She smiled as she felt him stiffen, whispering breathlessly right into his ear canal, "Come on and fuck me good flyboy."  Punctuating the statement with a bite to his earlobe, even as he half-shouted, half-groaned her name.

Spasming muscles felling them both to his forearms as his hips jerked his seed deep into her welcoming body, streaks of pleasure arrowing through him and leaving him too weak.  Every muscle melting and resting him on the soft woman caressing his back as she dropped kisses on his face.  He smiled as he felt a lick on his cheek, along the edge of the morning stubble, the dual sensation as strange for him as it has to be for her.  Too satisfied to make a comment, still trying to catch the last of his breath.

"You could get me to *like* mornings."  Even with his eyes still closed, he could hear the smile in her husky voice.  Used some of his returning strength to take his weight off her and back onto his forearms, hands just able to stroke her shoulders idly.  Grinning happily into her teasing smile.  Discovering what feeling right where he belonged was like.  He started to make a comment about his getting to like *afternoons*, when one of their communicators started squawking, drawing a glare from him as she immediately twisted her upper body and reached for it.

"Weir."

"Elizabeth I need to talk to you I just had an idea about"

"Rodney!"  She interrupted what promised to be one of his ultra-high speed incomprehensible explanations.  Not remotely willing to indulge him at that instant, "I just woke up Rodney.  Whatever you've found, get the *complete* details on it.  In other words go see Zelenta.  And then figure out how to use it, and I will see you, in my office, at 0800."

"But-"

She rolled her eyes, interrupting again, knowing she was being abrupt, "No buts Rodney.  Just do it.  Weir *out*."  She ended on a growl and mock-glared at John, choking his laughter not six inches from her mic.  "You: are *not* helping."

John stopped restraining himself and laughed out loud, the image Elizabeth putting Rodney so firmly in his place while naked under him catching his funny bone.  When she shoved his shoulders in revenge, he fell back on the bed next to her, finally cutting himself back to the occasional chuckle as she got up, smiling faintly but still muttering under her breath.  Putting her earpiece back with his before walking, unashamedly buck naked, to the washroom.

Knowing he had to, he got up himself, grumbling at the intrusion of work, yet sparing a thought to be grateful they'd had at least one uninterrupted night to catch up on sleep.  And other things, he thought with a grin.  On Atlantis, that just wasn't something to take for granted.

He walked in as she stepped into the shower, reaching over in the small space to touch her shoulder caressingly, apologetically; giving her a quick kiss when she looked a question at him.  "I did 'try' to keep quiet.  Does he often do that?"

She blinked, "Talk too much too fast?"

He rolled his eyes, "Wake you up in the morning."

"Oh.  When there's a crisis on, yes; fairly often I guess."  She stepped under the spray as she spoke.

"Umph." Closing the shower for her, he turned to the sink, muttering under his breath, "We'll just see about that, McKay."  Knowing it was stupid and would get Elizabeth annoyed at him, he still couldn't help the momentary irrational jealousy at the thought that she was used to waking to Rodney's voice.

As he used his finger to run toothpaste over his teeth, distractedly palming the scrub on his jaw, the wording of his own thought poured cold fear through his previously cheerful morning.  Elizabeth annoyed at him.  Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit.  There was sudden terror running fast under his skin, just barely under control.  Breathing through the tight weight it made on his chest, he moved stiffly, washing out his mouth with a palmful of water.  Looking up into his eyes in the mirror, wide and dark.  He knew damned well this was the kind of idiocy that could lead to losing relationships.  *How* did he always manage to find the stupidest thing to do and do it? 

He really hadn't thought he'd have to face this so soon; hadn't thought even he could be *that* dumb.  Couldn't even manage one morning with her, could you Sheppard?  Damn it, what was wrong with him anyway?  He had friends didn't he: Ford, Teyla, Ronon, even McKay, others on Earth.  They hung out, drank, practiced together; Hell, spent days on end together on missions.  Why didn't he manage to screw up during all that time?  How could he come up with a way to lose Elizabeth in just a few hours?

But he'd caught himself hadn't he?  He tried to calm his breathing; he'd caught himself *before* he did anything.  *So* he'd almost wrecked things within hours of... But he *hadn't*.  He'd caught himself; therefore he could catch himself again.  And he *would* beg;  Lord was he suddenly not the least bit worried about his ego.  What was pride compared to that terror; to knowing he'd been an idiot again and could, *would* lose her.

He sighed tightly, usually at this point he would just call it quits; avoid letting the relationship build until he caused some big scene to happen.  Everyone was better off if he was alone.  But now... Damn it.  He'd really enjoyed this time with Elizabeth; had felt so... complete, and so deeply content with his life for once.  Almost like he deserved it.

Taking another deep breath and trying to exhale the frustration, he kept a tight grip on the fact that he *had* avoided the danger this time.  Narrowly maybe, but maybe he was learning.  Who could blame him for stupid thoughts?  If he could stop the actions, he could hold on to-

"John?"  The soft voice beside him made him jump, not having heard the water shut off.  Their eyes locked for a minute, his still reeling, hers taking on a worried edge; a little accepting sadness. 

Elizabeth tightened her jaw with a hard swallow.  She'd allowed herself to hope, last night, that they really had a chance at building an intimate relationship out of this.  But there was nothing else happening right now that would have him looking so scared, not with a palliative working.  The only new uncertainty was the two of them. 

And if he was that unhappy with this...  She couldn't pretend not to have known he wasn't big on close relationships.  For such an obviously caring man, he'd kept himself very much apart from everyone since she'd met him.  That outer shell of pilot bravado thin, at the best of times.  Whatever the reason he wasn't interested in relationships, she refused to be a fool and try to force his hand.  If this, if the closeness they'd slipped so seemingly easily into, was too much for him, then she'd far rather deal with her heartache at going back to just being friends, rather than risk losing him altogether.

Trying to look calm; ignoring the pain clenching her heart, reminding herself that she was strong, and a good negotiator.  She could get the two of them to sign back on to friendship, even after the intimacies they'd shared.  She kept her voice light and soothing, trying to convey that he didn't need to be anything other than himself; that he didn't need to do something so uncomfortable just for her sake.  "My offer still stands, John.  This doesn't have to be anything other than saving a friend's life as needed."

John's head jerked back, this time feeling the dread rise unstopped.  No, there was no avoiding the damned mistakes. 

Trying to ignore the despairing voice that said he was wasting her time; he was going to wreck this, hurt her, and she deserved better.  Reminding himself how he'd felt when he promised himself not to ruin things, that some things were worth fighting anything for; even himself.  That she wanted him; and he wanted her to have anything she desired.  Oh yes, and she specifically needed him right now.  He swallowed painfully, seeing in her eyes the pain he'd already caused her; lost as to how to actually fix this, his strategic mind blank.

Finally going for the literal interpretation of his earlier thought, he slowly put one knee down; somewhere under the fear and stubborn resolution, feeling faintly silly at having his bare leg on the cold floor.  Instead of worrying about that, his hands reached for hers, bringing her palms to his lips in turn.  The physical connection to her reinforcing the memory of why he was trying, why he had to do this.

He made himself look at her, fully expecting her shocked expression.  He still had to look down though, found himself talking too fast, not knowing what to say and just saying everything in the hopes that she would fish out how he felt before his vocal cords froze on him.  "I'm sorry.  I'm *so* sorry.  No I don't want this to...  I want you.  In my life.  I *love* you.  I just.  I was jealous because Rodney got to wake you so often and I.  Was going to growl at him about it.  And I knew that'd piss you off.  And IknewdamnwellI'ddosomethinglikethis but not so soon and then you'll-"

Elizabeth wriggled a hand out of his grip, laying her palm on his lips to stop the almost panicked flow, feeling his unsteady, fast breaths.  Biting her lip, knowing a few tears had slipped from her stinging eyes.  She took a shuddering breath of her own before seating herself on his bent knee, careful of her wet skin slipping, throwing her arms around his shoulders tightly, feeling him take hold of her waist to hold her steady.  Always there for her; even in this state.  This was definitely not a scenario she had ever wanted of him on his knees, she thought sorrowfully.

She moved a hand to the back of his head, holding him to her shoulder.  Taking another deep breath and then releasing it, feeling a lot of her tension flow out with it now that she had an idea of what she faced; and that it wasn't losing him.  Her voice was still choked though, "I love you too, you know."

He pulled his head back gently, chin nodding up in faint acknowledgment that he knew, or believed, eyes still dark with old sadness and real worry.  She smiled hesitantly, stroking his nape where she still held him.  "I know you're going to make me mad sooner or later, John.  I'll do the same: insist on talking when you know we should fight, or.." she shrugged, seeing his lips quirk in short agreement, the small ripple of familiarity moving over his expression telling her she didn't have to finish the thought. 

"But we've fought before John.  And we still got here.  You have to trust that I love you enough to *keep* fighting until we get through it and find agreement.  That I love you even *while* we're fighting.  I have for a long time."  She wasn't usually one to use the word so freely, but she could see, could *feel* him relaxing minutely with every repetition.  "That *nothing* you do is going to change that."  She looked him right in the eye, "And I have to be able to trust you enough to know you're going to hang on to us through those hard times.  As you always have."  She could still see the fight in his expression, the fear and uncertainty that she could identify now.  Annoyed at herself for having missed it all this time.  What she'd thought was fear of commitment was actually complete lack of faith in *himself* in relation to a commitment...

"I screw things up."

She interrupted, shaking her head, "We *all* screw up John.  You just have to be willing to deal with it.  You have to believe *I*'ll deal with it;" she tried to tease gently, "Deal with *you*."  She knew him well enough to know that whatever he screwed up would not be from lack of feeling or loyalty.  Being overprotective when she needed to take care of things herself; *that* she could imagine, or jumping into hot water to help someone before consulting her, or... "I may well...  No.  I *will* end up yelling at you sooner or later, I'm sure."  For an instant she gave him an advance taste of the glare that would go with that, heartily glad to see him give a weak smirk in response. 

He was listening to her, willing to try to believe.  They could build on that.  A too-intelligent military commander and an inter-galactic negotiator could figure out why he'd let this get under his skin; could either work it out or work around it.  She smiled gently, "But I'm not going to stop loving you over the fact that you did something I consider stupid." she raised a brow, "I never did all the other times."

John leaned his forehead to hers.  Beating back the unreasoning fear from his mind, with every step regained able to feel the familiar care and affection in her touch.  Forcing up memories of all those times he had already done idiotic things.  Had made life harder for her; *had* annoyed her.  He looked up, meeting the still loving expression in her eyes.

She put her hand on his heart, fingers stroking gently.  "You still don't believe me, do you?"

Catching the hand with his and bringing it to his lips, he closed his eyes as he laid a kiss on every inch of her palm, tactile memory of the morning giving him a dose of calm, then nestled his rough jaw into it.  Finally opening his eyes, twisting his lips ruefully.  "I'm trying."  His eyes tried to read hers, "I just..."  He shook his head, sliding his hand into her hair, pulling her closer for a deep kiss.  Then pulling her into a tight hug when they came up for air. 

Trying hard to believe that they could argue about 'stupid' and he wouldn't lose her.  Even if she was dead right and he *was* an idiot.  Even if she was wrong and he had to argue back.  Feeling her hold him just as tight.  Hesitatingly allowing himself to absorb this feeling; of her in his arms and holding him -forgiving him-.  Absorb it and adopt it as home.

Eventually, he released his grip, carefully settling her back on his thigh.  Okay.  Maybe he could be himself and keep Elizabeth.  Why he should deserve her when no one else could stand him for any length of time...  But he'd learned to trust his Doctor Weir's abilities.  If she said she could keep them together...  Then he had to believe it or make an appointment to beat *himself* up, because he sure as Hell would do it to anyone else who called her a liar.  He straightened his shoulders, looking her in the eye, sorry to have caused the worry still there.

He essayed throwing her a smile, "So you love me, uh?"  He knew it wasn't up to his usual cocky standards, but the small smile and soft tone were the best he could give at the moment. 

And that really was another thing that still reeled through him.  Elizabeth Weir loved him.  What the Hell did she see in him?  He'd accepted, albeit with wonder, that she liked him, even cared for him.  Simply because the truth was too obvious even for his lack of faith to explain away.  But love...  She hated what he did for a living, what could she...  Blinking the thought away firmly for when he had some private time to take it in, he gave her a last kiss on her smiling mouth and set her on her feet as he got himself up with a grunt.  Maybe he should start wearing kneepads;  willing to forgive him or not, he wasn't planning to forget his promise to himself.  If he caught himself being stupid, his joints were just going to have to take it.

Rubbing the knee that had been dug into the floor and mentally growling at not being 25 anymore, John took a second to enjoy the view of naked Elizabeth reaching in the sink cupboard, then asked Atlantis to turn on the shower as he stepped up to it, dragging his mindset into work mode for now.  Before he got in, Elizabeth put a hand on his shoulder, slipping it to his nape when he turned his head toward her.  Tugging him down and kissing him hard and deep, tongue slipping in when he groaned, arms wrapping around her.  Pulling back with a gasp, watching his glazed eyes open.  "Yes.  I love you.  And want you." 

She pretended to ignore the real grin peeking out from him, secretly glad to see it again, but needing to get one more point aired out first.  "But I expect you to appear in my office for that meeting, ready to behave like the same military commander I had yesterday morning."  She didn't want another heavy conversation, and she *did* trust him to behave properly.  But still.  She didn't really want him to pick that as something to be foolish about, not today. In some future tomorrow she was sure it would come up and she *was* certain they would deal with it.  But right now, she didn't need the public question-mark on her authority and he didn't need to worry about an argument with her.

His head tugged up, back straightening in quasi solute, hands in the small of his back at parade rest.  Lips still holding a small grin, obviously not bothered by the implication she'd made, much to her relief.  "Yes, Ma'am!"

She grinned back at him, then nodded toward the shower, hinting that they were expected soon.  As he stepped under the warm spray, he heard her blow dryer start, grinning at the so-normal domestic scene.  Hoping that he would live up to her expectations.

####

As he finished drying off, he asked, "You have a spare razor?" 

"Ummmhumm." 

He watched her continue to fish, frowning, for the toothpaste he'd misplaced among other bottles, reminded of something by the bathroom paraphernalia.  Clearing his throat and not looking at her, he tried to be casual, "Err.  Another thing.  Carson wants to give booster shots of contraceptive to everyone on the pill.  Just to be sure." 

Elizabeth looked up at him with a blink, holding toothpaste and spare razor victoriously, seeing a red tint climbing up his throat.  She smiled her John-teasing smirk, "I take it Carson just *happened* to mention to *you* that *I*'m on the pill?"

John looked up with a rueful twist to his lips, "He walked in on us almost kissing, Elizabeth.  And he knows us both."  He shrugged, trying for casual, "It's not as though he doesn't know we're close."  Ignoring the fact that *he*'d been less than certain she would chose him.  Beckett hadn't been particularly subtle when he'd thrown his little tidbit of information at John before he went to speak to her.  Sometimes friends were damnably annoying.

Elizabeth bit her lip to keep from either laughing or teasing any more.  Well, about his embarrassment anyway.  She stepped up to him, handing him the razor.  Reaching up to stroke his jaw, she smiled seductively, "You look *very* nice with a beard, you know."  She used her short nails to gently scratch the prickly hairs, "Even if you would permanently sand my skin off."  Turning away with a last batted eye, she went to the sink to wash her teeth, watching in the mirror as his eyes traveled down her naked back, still standing where she'd left him.  Happily grinning at her effect and planning to make a point of exactly how much she cared for him, in every way, at every chance. 

Eventually he'd have to start believing her when she said they would weather the storms.  In the meantime...  she rolled her eyes at seeing just how red her face and neck were.  It was just as well he was starting to shave next to her.  If he showed up with a beard and she with beardburn...

Bad enough that he was going to be walking around in yesterday's wrinkled clothes.  She knew he'd carried her to the infirmary, so people knew she was among the affected.  It wasn't as though she could appear, obviously cured, and not have everyone guess what had happened. It'd been one thing yesterday to tell herself that she wasn't willing to be a martyr, but she wasn't in that state anymore and she couldn't help the... discomfort at having people aware of something so private.  So new.  Especially with the two of them still finding their footing with *each other*, never mind the rest of the city.  Maybe she could convince herself that having people *know* who, instead of speculating constantly, was preferable.  She shook her head at herself firmly; the last thing John needed was to have her uncomfortable with people knowing they were together.  They would just have to deal.  They always had before.

She just hoped they got out of this with whole careers.


AN: Any and everyone who made any sounds about angst and allowed the protagonists hear you... you owe leave_me_light apologies for being exposed to my spasming mind, which is cruel and unusual punishment at the best of times!!  ARGH!!! this had better be the last of the heavy angst stuff.  This was supposed to be PWP, get with the gameplan, you two! (shakes finger at unpenitent John)
AN: so I blame anuna_81 for the fact that I now have Emmylou Harris - To know him is to love, (**which is REALLY sappy!!!**) stuck in my head and sparkyfied!!! argh sigh.  tired.  very tired


Chapter four: Another day

Beta: thanks comanche_rider!
AN: I am so sorry! don't know where my head went. my humblest apologies to *Lieuteant* Cadman. bad bad bad writer tsk tsk tsk. many thanks to the anoymous person who let me know! :)


Standing in front of Elizabeth's full-length mirror and trying to wipe the worst creases out of his uniform, settling with a wince for just making sure it was sitting neatly on his frame, John looked at the woman tying her shoes while sitting on the bed. "If you're stopping by the infirmary, I'll grab some breakfast and bring it to your office."

"John..."

"We have time to eat before they show up, Elizabeth." He gave her a firm look, remembering too prominent ribs under his fingers.

She had to smile at the return of her stubborn colonel, not the least willing to argue over something he'd done more than once before.

She got up, walking behind him to wipe at some of the wrinkles on his wide back. "You could bring some spare clothe..." She caught his eye in the mirror and hesitated at her own back-handed forwardness, before straightening herself out of the uncertainty; no second-guessing yourself, not about this.

Before she could say anything else, he took her hand over his shoulder with a teasing grin, pulling her body gently up against him, kissing the back of her hand with silent caring, "Was that a proposition doctor?" he teased, "Or a comment on my uniform?"

She rolled her eyes with a grin. "Maybe I'm protecting my stash of razors. Take it any way you want colonel, but we really need to get going. Especially if you're starving."

As she opened the door for them, she touched his shoulder in passing, "Make yourself at home, John." When he looked at her, looking for confirmation, she nodded, "Really."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking into the practically-deserted infirmary, Elizabeth frowned, expecting Carson. She addressed the lone male nurse entering reports at a console instead, "Excuse me, is Dr. Beckett around?"

"Err," he blushed, "Dr. Beckett... was called away."

She frowned, started to ask what had happened when his blush registered and she blinked quickly to avoid smiling. "I see. What's the status of the patients?"

"Everyone was discharged yesterday, Ma'am, Drs. Beckett and Heightmeyer seemed confident they all... would..." The poor boy cleared his throat and dropped what he'd been trying to say, "And no new complaints have come in since. Dr. Beckett ordered everyone to check in after 24 hours, or earlier if the symptoms reappeared." He shrugged, still not looking at her, "No one has come requesting medication or reporting further problems yet."

She kept her expression carefully blank for his sake, "Do we know how long the..." Even she stumbled here. Finally giving up, shaking her head with a grin, "How long the effects of the treatment last?"

He returned a short, hesitant grin of his own, "Teyla has reported the... effects seemed to last roughly 8 hours...?” He left the question hanging, obviously not wanting to overstep his bounds, but nonetheless the on-duty medical officer in the midst of a medical crisis.

She smiled ruefully, making herself nod in confirmation, her turn not to look at him. "Thank you for the update."

"Yes ma'am." They nodded to each other as she left, quickly tapping her earpiece as she walked.

"Carson?"

It took several seconds to get a sleepy response, "Aye? Elizabeth?"

She smiled, swallowing the urge to make indelicate comments that she would never want aimed toward herself; she was far too cheerful this morning! "Sorry Carson, Rodney called earlier and I told him we'd see him in my office at 0800. I'm afraid I assumed..." She dropped the phrase with a shrug, not wanting to make it sound like an accusation.

She heard mumbling in the background, then, "A'll be there, Elizabeth."

"Thanks Carson, Weir out."

She tapped her earpiece again, "Teyla?"

"Yes, Dr. Weir?"

She smiled at the immediate, bouncy response. "I'm having Rodney and Carson meet me in my office at 8. Would you and Ronon join us?"

"Of course. We will be there. Teyla out."

Walking the last steps to her office with a jaunt in her step, she was clear-headed enough now to start thinking about just what the demographics of the situation were likely to work out to. She looked around the control room as she walked by and realized that the faces were subtly different. More of a concentration of the new staff. Fewer of the original expedition members. She needed to congratulate John and everyone else in charge of departments for adjusting shifts.

Ummm, original members... She booted up her computer, thinking curiously that she was surprised Rodney had been up.

"Breakfast is served!"

She looked up with a smile as John dropped coffee, a breakfast sandwich and apples on her desk, taking his own sandwich to his chair and digging in as though he hadn't eaten in a week. When she stared at him a little too long instead of eating, he waggled his brows teasingly at her but nodded at her food firmly.

Realizing that she was starving, she reached for the sandwich with a grin.

---------------------

Avidly watching John lick the last of the apple juice from his fingers, Elizabeth took another sip of heavenly coffee, admitting to herself that it was very pleasant to do something so commonplace as have breakfast with her man; watching her man. No matter how they finally got together.

Although come to think of it... Her eyebrows furrowed slightly in sudden thought.

"You never hesitated..." Her voice was soft, only half-way talking to him.

John stopped pretending not to be aware and pleased at her perusal and tilted his head at her in confusion.

"In the infirmary. When I..." She blushed, remembering with faint shame that she'd never *asked*!

A wide grin slowly grew on his face as he watched her. "When you chose me over every man in the city?" She laughed in relief, shaking her head fondly at his, in the end, deserved cockiness. "You didn't really think I would, did you?"

She shrugged, saying apologetically, "I wasn't really thinking."

He quirked a curious brow, grin fading as he quieted, "You're thinking *now*...?"

He stared at her silently, a soft affection in his eyes and expression that she realized had been there for a long time now. Breaking the contact for just a moment, the silent knowledge that she had to have been returning the same non-verbal admission slipped into her mind. She smiled, looking back into his eyes, "No. I wouldn't really have doubted you would. But you deserved to be asked."

He grinned, "You *did* ask." When she raised her brow in question he elaborated with a shrug, "In effect. When we got to your quarters."

She watched him, ignoring the faint voice hinting that they should start work now - they had a meeting in minutes-. Everyone was always saying she worked too hard, well, now she had a reason not to and she was taking it!

"Did *you* really think there was a chance I would choose someone else?"

His grin faded, "I..." He looked thoughtful, "I wasn't thinking too clearly myself. I was kinda freaked at the idea of..." He looked away, wincing as colour rose to his cheeks, "Of saying things wrong." He looked her in the eye, "Of somehow making you think that I... was only offering, only *wanted* to offer... medical services." He shrugged with a quick, embarrassed grin, unaware of his voice speeding up again, "I told you, screwing up is my speciality. Nothing I said would have been right..."

She shook her head with an affectionate smile, "You did fine. As *usual*." She added the last with a firm look when he opened his mouth to argue.

They both settled back in their seats, sipping the last of their coffees. After the briefest of locked gazes, they silently sent their eyes away from each other, knowing from experience that keeping the contact too long made it that much harder to separate and left them distracted.

Elizabeth happened to look out into the corridor as a male scientist walked by. With a far-too-recognizable and obvious spring in his step. Unfortunately bringing the day's problem front-and-centre in her mind.

"I wonder how much backlash there's going to be over this?"

He looked up with a frown from staring in his cup, "From the IOA?"

"Oh, I'm not even thinking about *them* until this is over and dealt with! No. I mean from the men here on Atlantis. Fights breaking out as the ones.." She rolled her eyes, "'Getting some' grin a little too widely and everyone else gets jealous that they get to get lucky *and* be excused from the rules. Even the women!..." By the end of the thought, Elizabeth had put her cup down and was holding her head in her hands, letting something between a growl and a moan escape.

John winced, ever so glad he'd followed his head and held every hint of swagger out of his behaviour this morning. He hadn't been sure if ignoring or glaring away the teasing grins would be better, but had settled for pretending there was nothing out of the ordinary about the day, hoping people would settle down.

He wanted to reassure her that she was wrong... but he could all too easily see her scenarios unfolding. He doubted their people had been following the rules to the letter all these months; well, they now *knew* they hadn't. Another thing that was going to give them headaches. Nonetheless, the fact that some were being dispensed from the rules... Ummm...

He sighed, anticipated annoyance making him grumpy, touching her hand casually as he set his cup down on the desk, staying sitting up so he could be closer to her for a bit. "Speaking of those rules. Technically all the women with that chemical footprint should get a dispensation."

She looked up with a frown, "And what happens after this is over? The Stargate program has dealt with rule-breaking due to 'alien influence' almost since its inception. But we're not talking about being taken over... We can say these people were forced to take preventive measures, but if what you all suspect is the case, then we are talking about couples who care about each other, some even having already managed to establish relationships, under the radar. I don't imagine that any of them are going to be willing to just return to the status quo -or worse- once we do deal with the disease." Her direct look was an unvoiced reinforcement that she counted herself in that statement.

He grinned quickly with a faint nod, giving a quick tap to the back of one of her hands. Little things that could go unnoticed but told her they were on the same page. Then he sat back in his chair, losing the humour as he tried to come up with either solution or reason to cheer up.

Neither had found anything to add when they heard Carson and Rodney, chatting as they approached her office.

Seeing the others also on their way, John got up and everyone found a spot to stand. Not really surprisingly, rather than his usual quiet corner, Ronon stationed himself right behind Teyla. And the small smile on Carson's face was almost as clear as the huge grin on Rodney's. If even Carson was that obvious...

Elizabeth gave John an exasperated 'I told you so' look, both of them tensing with the burdens of being in charge.

"So. Rodney?" Her voice a little sharp, considering his silence now and the pain his wake-up call had led to.

He winced, "Well, actually, I couldn't find Zelenka, and I ..." He blushed, carefully not looking at anyone, "Was... distracted. After I called you."

Elizabeth stood up slowly, straightening to aim her medium-level glare right at the scientist. "You got *'distracted'*. After *waking me up*?" She kept her voice rock-steady and even, feeling how exceedingly furious she was and making sure that none of it came through.

Not only had she, for once, had no desire to get up early, but there was a small, very human, very unreasonable voice that blamed Rodney for the pain in John's eyes this morning. However, none of that was actually the man's fault and she could not allow herself the luxury of yelling at her subordinate for it.

She tightened her jaw, forcibly switching topics away from making him squirm. "Zelenka didn't answer his headset?"

"Well. Actually I went looking for him just before... I... didn't try his headset..." The usually brilliant scientist withered under the roomful of disbelieving eyes. "It's just. I mean, what's the rush. No one is actually in danger anymore. And I mean, it's not like the medicine is unpleasant, like an inje.." He blushed, stumbling, "A needle of something every hour. Or something equally uncomfortable." He physically shrank away from the glaring Teyla.

John smirked at his friend, enjoying the way he was avoiding the women's glares after his verbal fumble. "Maybe not, Rodney, but it severely limits who can do what jobs."

"We also do not dare travel to other planets while being carriers of this disease. And we will run out of supplies sooner rather than later."

"Yeah Rodney, feel like eating military rations for the indefinite future? 'Cause the Deadalus won't be bringing anything else."

"I'm sure the SGC will be back online soon-"

"Rodney! Enough." Elizabeth glared at him for playing the recalcitrant child. "It's a disease, one that is dangerous to health. It needs to be cured. Point final."

She waited for his embarrassed, oddly grudging agreement, then changed tack, "Oh yes, and speaking of children. Carson, did you have a specific reason to want to boost the contraceptives? Are you concerned about their reliability?"

She didn't look at John while she spoke, didn't really stop to think *at all* about what she was implying. This was all a lot easier when it was others who were in trouble rather than herself!

"No. Not especially. But... what with... errr. The fact that they're guaranteed ta be needed... it seems foolish ta take chances."

Into the stilted silence, Rodney finally chimed in, "Anyway. My idea was that since we assume this is spreading through air or contact, Atlantis might be able to detect it. Like it did that nanovirus." He ran down, shrugging as he threw in the flaw to his idea, "Assuming the ancients encountered this."

"But it's not." John's voice had its usual sarcastic edge when it came to Rodney and his assumptions.

The man's eyes rolled in automatic response. "It's not responding *the same way*. But lets face it, if a normal group of people lived here, this would not have been nearly such a dangerous thing. Most people wouldn't even have noticed it."

Teyla and Ronon's brows rose at the 'normal', but everyone else accepted Earth's cultural relationship taboos and their problems. "So what *are* you saying?" Elizabeth's voice was impatient.

He shrugged, "That there might be a specialized system somewhere that is set up to sense this. It might even be reporting the problem right now, we're just not 'listening' to it."

Elizabeth nodded understanding, "Ok. *Call* Zelenka and the two of you go through the systems with a fine-toothed comb. Anything else?"

John straightened uncomfortably, reminded of his thought the day before. He looked at Carson, "Is there any chance this is affecting men too somehow?"

Carson's brow rose, "Since we have no idea what's happenin', anythin's possible." He frowned, tilting his head, his posture giving out sudden discomfort, "Was there afetr bein' something in particular ye've noticed?"

Elizabeth watched the two, seeing Rodney out the corner of her eye join them in freezing.

John raised his chin, reading the doctor well enough to guess the man knew exactly what they were talking about. "I think you already know, doc." They both looked at Rodney with raised brows for confirmation.

"I... errr. Well." He tightened his lips when they continued to glare, "OK, fine, yes!"

"Alright, that's enough. What the hell is going on??" Elizabeth glared at the men, not remotely sympathetic to their embarrassment considering what the women were going through.

The three verbally passed the buck for a second until Elizabeth fixed her glare on John, since he'd started it. And was hers, she thought with a mental grin.

He winced, "I... *we*, noticed that we're... more... quick to react." His eyes asked Carson for confirmation, glad to see him nod. "More aware of... you." He nodded specifically to her.

"Lieutenant Cadman, in my case." In this group at least, Carson didn't bother mincing words, "I'd imagine each man is more... sensitive ta the person they..." His hand twitched, trying to come up with a term, "Are close to."

Teyla raised a brow, "Might this not simply be a result of the change in your, our, relationships?"

John shook his head, "No. Not..." He rolled his eyes, ignoring Elizabeth's smirk at the fact that it was his turn to have his intimate reactions in the public eye. "Look. It's a lot more powerful than..." He glared at the room, locking his jaw mutinously.

Elizabeth toned down her smile, "Ok, Carson will run tests on the men as well. Anything else?"

As everyone headed out to their own work, she tagged along with Carson, simply saying, "Booster shot," when he looked a question at her.

She hoped John would remember to get changed, now that he had time, and then she was embarrassed to realize she was wondering if he would bring lunch too... "Well. At least we can work in peace.”

"Eh?"

"The effects seem to stay away for at least 8 hours..."

When he was silent she turned to him, meeting his disbelieving look. “Lass, like most medicines, a expect that takin' the next dose *before* the previous one completely wears off would be a sight more... effective. Safer.”

She gave him a playfully suspicious look, wondering briefly if Carson would take advantage of this to push his pet peeves. “So don't work late and get... desperate again?”

He gave her a small smile, "This epidemic is straining all of our euphemisms"

-----------------------------------

"Zelenka?"

"Yes, Rodney?"

"Where are you?"

Radek raised his head from the console he was examining, frowning in curiosity. "I am in my lab. Where else would I be?"

"Well you weren't there earlier!"

The Czech scientist rolled his eyes, going back to his work as he spoke, "If you mean I did not stay up all night, then you are correct. I do occasionally require rest."

"Well fine. But I needed you this morning..."

"Then why did you not call?"

"Because!.. I. Didn't think of it but anyway, I need you in that Ancient medical lab we found the other day." Zelenka's brow had risen with the first part, but by the end he'd given up his own work as lost and was hurrying out to the nearest transporter, mumbling under his breath.


TBC


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