One
Author: wanderingsmith
April 2014
Summary: "I know we had not just met, that I had
even laid hands on you before. But it was only
then that I knew you. That the Pull I had never
recognized, in all the years since you had been
born, suddenly tightened; and I knew you."
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd
be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is
thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I
play with 'em.
AN: am I really the only one who read so
much more into that look "Not our only hope."?
Goto Chapter 2
Chapter one
Thorin breathed deep of the crisp night air, eyes
closed and letting his nearby company's laughter
and mutters roll over him. Letting his mind focus
inside himself instead. They had made it. Their
hobbit had once again surpassed all expectations
and burgled them out from under the high noses of
elves. Thorin did not try to hold back a fond
grin, content that the few feet between himself
and the fire would keep anyone from seeing and
commenting.
As much as he'd disliked the idea of fitting
himself into a barrel just as much as the rest of
the company had, Bilbo had been both correct and
visibly exhausted; siding with him had felt.. so
right. Comforting. He rolled his eyes at himself;
he was an old fool to let such a small thing give
such pleasure.
But then, it was to be expected, even of old
warriors: Glóin was proof enough of that.
He opened his eyes to scan the campsite, giving
Orcrist's hilt a distracted stroke, more reluctant
than ever to agree that elves had made such a fine
weapon, but unable to deny how glad he'd been to
find it along with his armour waiting for him in a
barrel. Food to eat for a night or two and weapons
to continue their journey. Not a burglar, indeed.
Speaking of Bilbo. Thorin rose, walking over to
the small shape amongst the dwarrows across the
fire. A gentle grip on a small shoulder had the
hobbit's wide smile tilt up to him, well-earned
pride and peace in the bright eyes. Unwilling to
stop himself from responding, the king returned a
smile of his own before nodding his head to a tree
several feet behind them.
Perhaps he should have removed his hand to let
Bilbo stand, but after so long without any touch,
his self-control was not up to letting go until he
reached the tree and took Bilbo's hand instead as
he lowered his still-damp self against the
too-cold trunk, glad to see over Bilbo's lowering
shoulders that the rest of the company had hardly
glanced at their move. They were still too near
the elves and Mirkwood for it to be safe for
anyone to move too far from the others; this was
as close to privacy as he could afford to give
them.
For a moment he hesitated; he could not help
wishing to do this in a better time and place.
"Thorin? Is something the matter?"
The way that quiet voice wrapped around him
dissolved every second thought he'd had, however.
It was time.
He took a last moment to take the small hand he
still held in both of his, reviewing the words
he'd planned, a lifetime of practise at giving
rousing speeches just as useful in this most
important of conversations.
He made sure his expression was not frozen in his
too-habitual frown as he looked up and started
quietly, "Do you recall something.. happening, or
perhaps simply changing, 51 years ago?"
The small smile that had softened Bilbo's features
looking at their hands flicked into confusion at
his admittedly odd question. "Exactly 51 years
ago? Well.." Thorin kept quiet as moments passed
without further words, focusing on the peace
within himself, not even certain there existed an
answer to this question. "I think.. Yes. Yes, my
father did tell the story of uncle Gerhart almost
starting a 'war' with Buckland by insisting on a
plan to build a dam across the Brandywine," Bilbo
rolled his eyes, "Old fool supposedly thought he
could make a fortune by building some ridiculously
large mill and selling to the Big Folk." Thorin
grunted in agreement at the foolishness, thinking
of the small farmland available to make the needed
wheat, and even smaller settlements of Men
available to sell to.
"Oh, and.. well, depending where you count your
year beginning, mother insisted that the Thain and
a couple of my Took uncles killed some goblins up
near the Far Downs-"
As much as it was pleasant to sit and listen to
the hobbit's amiable chatter, Thorin did not want
to lose the thread of the conversation; this was
not quite what he needed. "Do you not yourself
remember?"
He blinked at Bilbo's quick laugh, "What is *your*
earliest memory, my dwarf friend?"
Frowning in confusion, Thorin nonetheless took the
question seriously and sent his mind back, finally
deciding on the most likely truth, "Watching my
'amad hammering the first strokes of a brooch."
Bilbo's eyes brightened with interest, though his
question did not insist on delving further, as
Thorin more than half expected he would, "How old
were you?"
"Perhaps.. 10?"
He again got that quick laugh as a response,
"Well, my earliest memory dates from when I was 3,
being lost in some woods and crying out for help.
So I'm afraid if you want to know of the year
2890, I only have others' words to offer."
He frowned, eyes tracing every inch of that
familiar, full of character but entirely beardless
face, a strange thought beginning to niggle at
him, "..How.. old.. are you, Bilbo?"
The curious humour he'd been watching slipped into
a surprised blink, "Fif- well, actually,
fifty-*one* now," Thorin guessed that slightly
tilted grin meant the hobbit had not noticed the
change during their travel, "I know you dislike
all elves, Thorin, but I must say I would rather
have spent my birthday in Elrond's house than
Thranduil's."
Even through his shock, the words surprised a
small, hurt laugh from Thorin and he squeezed the
hand in his, "I am not such a prideful fool as to
not see the sense in that, Bilbo." He swallowed
hard, "You are 51??"
It didn't take Bilbo's worried frown to know his
shock was plain to see, though he did let himself
take reassurance from the return hand-squeeze as
Bilbo wriggled closer, "Yes, 51. Why? How old are
you?"
Thorin laughed again, shaking his head, "I was
unimaginably young for a dwarf when I joined the
march on Moria at 53. I am 195. *Kíli*.. is 77."
At least seeing Bilbo's jaw drop told him he
wasn't alone now, "Oh. Oh well..." Thorin's eyes
dropped as Bilbo's other hand came to rest on his,
fingers slotted along his combat-scarred knuckles.
It was *not* a child's. But it was small. And the
wounds it carried were recent rather than two
centuries' worth. And yet.. Thorin allowed the
hand he'd held to shift until it was one of his
that was held and stroked reassuringly by two
smaller hobbit hands. He could not forsake the
rest of this conversation, no matter the twists in
the path, he needed to know its destination now.
So he allowed himself to be petted, and listened
to Bilbo's explanations, "Well, unlike Kíli,
hobbits are responsible, and generally
*respectable*," Thorin did his best to smirk
obediently at the jibe and glance teasingly sent
his way from under lowered brows, "Adults by their
33rd birthday. And at 51, I am middle-aged," Bilbo
voice dropped to a self-deprecating mutter as his
eyes went to their joined hands, drawing his own
gaze to the strange sight of someone comforting
him, "When a respectable hobbit should be married,
most likely with a hobbitling or 2 already
underfoot." When Bilbo went quiet, Thorin looked
up, caught by the firm gaze that seemed to have
been waiting for him, "The longest-lived hobbit
was the Old Took, who lived to 130."
Thorin let himself absorb the information in
silence, once again reshaping his mental picture
of a hobbit. His tutors had taught him better than
to judge others by dwarven lives; he'd always
accepted that the age of Men and Elves must be
read differently. Perhaps it was simply that Bilbo
was closer in body to dwarrows than to the other
races that had led him awry. But the result was no
terrible thing, and on accepting that, he slowly
released a too-tightly held breath and nodded,
peace restored. "Fair enough."
Bilbo hummed agreement, visibly relaxing as well,
though he never loosed Thorin's hand, "So why did
you wish to know of Shire events so long ago?"
Thorin took a moment to get back to their
conversation, pleased to realize that not only had
he gotten a surprisingly logical answer to his
original line of enquiry, but Bilbo had provided
him with an introduction for the next one. "..You
say you should be married. How do hobbits choose
their mates?"
Seeing Bilbo frown and stare at him with intent
curiosity, he silently acknowledged again that his
mother had been right: he would never be a
diplomat. That had not been near subtle enough a
shift in topic, now had it?
"Well. When they- *we*, we of course. We meet, th-
we feel.. Drawn. The way water will flow down even
a shallow incline, or the smell of baking bread
will draw you even with a full belly."
After the surprise of their different ages, Thorin
couldn't help a glad smile at knowing that here,
at least, they understood each other. "Not all
dwarrows bond. Some feel the pull of their craft
the most, and have no interest in any other
intimacy. But others, usually near their first
century, begin to feel a Pull, the knowledge that
their One is somewhere. It is without.. direction.
But they say that when, or if, you meet him or
her, you will know them." His jaw clenched for a
moment and he dropped his eyes to their
interlocked hands, reminding himself that he need
only reach within himself for peace, "That is what
they say. In any case, most dwarrows will go about
their lives with that thread, confident that if
Mahal wills it, they will one day walk a corridor
of their mountain, or be introduced to a newcomer,
and they will recognize their One." Bilbo's
momentary clench on his hand made him pause to
listen, patience he rarely could find nonetheless
coming to him with Bilbo.
"And you? If you're 195 and.. well, unless you
ha-" Thorin shook his head abruptly, hurrying to
cut off such a thought, "Oh. Oh, well, goo- well.
So you love your craft..."
Thorin shook his head again, less abruptly,
knowing he could not leave the true question
unanswered. "No. Being a blacksmith may be a skill
I have mastered, but I do not feel pulled to it
above all else. Caring for my people was closer to
a purpose for my days. I had long accepted I would
not have anything else." The flow of words was
starting to feel thicker on his tongue; Mahal he
hadn't felt nerves like this since he waited for
his first skirmish.
He swallowed, pushing forward, "51 years ago, I..
suddenly felt the need to wander. Remaining at
Ered Luin caring for our people and my nephews.."
He had to stop and force himself to calm, his
hands to relax their grip at the memory of
suddenly feeling lost among even the remnants of
his people.
He gave Bilbo a small smile, aware as he did of
hands stroking his again, "Until that day, believe
it or not, I could find my way fairly well, even
outside a dwarven mountain. But from then.. I
would stare at a path and strain to recognize the
way. I *know* the sun rises in the East and can
tell the passage of time.. but my feet seemed to
refuse the knowledge, and I would discover I had
wandered without noticing from my plans. The more
I would strain to focus on my steps, the further
my mind would scatter."
Shrugging off the old frustration, he straightened
and looked Bilbo right in the eye, giving his
words the weight the other deserved to see in
them, "Until I held you." He waited a beat as
Bilbo's body jerked, eyes widening with
not-yet-recognizable emotion, "With nothing on my
mind but awe at your courage, and gratitude for
your showing it for me." The smaller hands holding
one of his had shifted and tightened into an
actual grip around his wrist, and Thorin thought
the eyes might be shining with hope, now, perhaps
even joy, "I know we had not just met, that I had
even laid hands on you before. But it was only
then that I Knew you. That the Pull I had never
recognized, in all the years since you had been
born, suddenly tightened; and I Knew you."
Strongest braid of power from deep in his soul and
reaching for the beardless, short-haired,
peaceful-souled hobbit sitting in front of him. A
tight and flexible ribbon of joy in the dark
forest of memories he'd lived with for so long,
"Since that moment, I have known if you were near
or far." Known you were alive.
Bilbo had never felt so breathless, the joyful
shock echoing through him repeatedly, unable to
look away from eyes even clearer and brighter than
the day they'd shared their first view of the
Lonely Mountain. That look was for *him*. Thorin
loved him. And.. 'felt' his presence.. Giving a
small laugh, Bilbo's fizzing thoughts landed on a
memory now explained, "You... You knew, knew I was
next to your cell. When the elves brought you
down. You knew I was not still somewhere in the
forest." Or dead.
Thorin blinked, obviously taking a few moments to
shift his thoughts back to that moment, "Yes. And
I knew you were free, or else, to be that close to
me, we would have heard you in another cell."
Bilbo could see the remembered fear and relief in
his friend's eyes and held his breath as the dwarf
leaned forward and pressed his lips to Bilbo's
forehead, "And I did not need the Pull to know you
would never abandon us once you had found us."
"No. No I wouldn't." Bilbo knew he should try to
control himself, half-aware that their nosey
company was within hearing, but his usually
majestic friend didn't seem to mind that the
hobbit's smile flickered in and out, or that he
was staring as could never be polite. Well, except
with one's mate. Oh. Oh yes, please. To be
allowed-
"How do hobbits court?"
Bilbo gasped, "Court?" Oh dear, that had been a
squeak. Though Thorin's easy smile didn't change
for all that.
"Dwarrows are simple in this. I was actually
present when Dis met her One. They both froze, and
then they smiled," Bilbo almost giggled as Thorin
shook his head with obvious fondness, "Never
before had I seen my sister smile so openly
joyful. With evil teasing intent, with pleasure,
yes, but..." the king laughed softly at the
memory, "Víli was in the same state, so I and
Balin both stepped back and left. They Knew each
other and both chose to accept the Pull. From that
moment they would be making life decisions
together, and that was all. If your One does not
acknowledge you, it is generally accepted that you
may question it, question them; but it serves
little purpose beyond ensuring that they are not
simply too ill or drunk to feel the Pull. No
amount of courting, as I have seen done in the
lands of Men, would have any effect on a dwarf's
decision not to bond. And once the decision is
made.. most dwarrows do not have the interest in
further discussing a moot point." Bilbo could read
the teasing in the quirk of a brow that followed,
"I assume hobbits have more elaborate customs?"
Before he tried to answer that, Bilbo decided they
were going to be here for some time. Rather than
separate their hands, he tightened his grip and
used Thorin's automatically stiffened arms as a
fulcrum to shift himself to his knees and shuffle
closer in between the dwarf's armoured knees, and
settle, damn any curious watchers, arms able to
relax and body warming from Thorin's nearness.
There. Much better for a long discussion on
customs. The only thing missing was some Old Toby;
but never mind that.
He shifted his grip on Thorin's hand, more to
enjoy the contact than to change the hold,
"Courting. Well yes. The Draw can be felt at any
time. And of course, between anyone less than,
oh.. their mid-20s, nothing but the lightest of
friendliness will be permitted by any adult in the
community, no matter how strong that water may
flow. But for responsible adults, well, hobbits do
enjoy the simple pleasures." He grinned when he
felt the squeeze on his wrist at that. Yes, thank
you, I like the pleasures of home, dear, best you
get used to the idea. "And there is no rush in
Shire life. Married folk have often told me that
living together with someone isn't easy. That you
don't always agree on even the simplest things,
and not all couples share the interests that
matter to them, which cannot be easy. So it is
generally expected that when you are drawn to
someone, you will take time to become friends.
With the only difference that you will most likely
lay in bed at night and think how you will work
your life around the things your friend likes."
Bilbo looked down, his bittersweet memories of an
evening of shocking guests no doubt clear to be
seen, "And, of course, like dwarrows, being Drawn
is no guarantee that the other is also Drawn. Or
that they wish to marry, though I think fewer
hobbits would *choose* to be alone than you
ascribe to dwarrows. But.. if they cannot accept
the sacrifices that might be necessary to share a
household with their friend.. better that be
realized before they wed."
In the suddenly heavy stillness, Bilbo was aware
that he could hear nothing but snores coming from
behind him, but that Dori at guard would therefore
have no distraction to avoid seeing how deeply in
conversation they were. But lack of privacy was
one of the things he'd accepted.
"So they become friends?"
Bilbo shook off the melancholy, looking up to meet
understanding eyes, a soft smile feeling more
familiar on his lips anyway, "Yes. Spend time
together. Speak of their family and experiences.
Of dreams and desires for the future. Of where
they have thought to live. Children. They show and
share with each other the results of their
skills."
Thorin nodded, humming approval, and they were
both quiet for a time, until one of those thoughts
made Bilbo hunch down, though he made sure to keep
his eyes up, "I..." he cleared his tight throat,
"Wouldn't there be objections?"
One of Thorin's brows rose in confusion,
"Objections?"
Bilbo gave him a tight look, "Of the king..
choosing, a hobbit? A male one at that."
The incredulous look he got was a little too
reminiscent of their early interaction for his
tastes, though at least the tone wasn't. "A
dwarf's One is no one's concern but their own."
"But you are the king. Would my insulting someone
out of ignorance not reflect badly on you?"
Because they both knew the hobbit would. He still
got enough shocked looks from the company, who all
should know him better...
"Reflect? No. I am king. Nothing you do would..
reflect, on that." Thorin frowned, looking
surprising calm and truthful instead of the
haughty arrogance Bilbo would expect to accompany
such words, "A dwarf king's consort is not by
extension the queen," the smirk he flashed made
Bilbo want to kiss it into submission, though he
quashed the though to a mere glare, "Or a king. A
dwarf does not become something else because of
who their mate is. My grandfather was the king.
His consort was a goldsmith. Grandmother had no
interest in statecraft, and grandfather had none
in crafting jewellery. The fact that grandmother
would retire to the royal apartments after working
in her shop made no difference to how she was
treated while working. She would occasionally have
to deck herself out in the royal finery and
preside over banquets with grandfather, and he
would occasionally have to take off the royal
finery to accompany her to guild meetings at other
settlements, but those neither affected his state
decisions nor her standing in the crafts."
When Thorin tugged on his hand, Bilbo released
him, faintly reluctant but unwilling to deny the
silent request, especially when it led to his own
hand raised up to that bearded face. "You would
always be free to be anything you chose, be it the
royal burglar, cook or scribe." The words were
reassuring in themselves; the touch of chilled
lips and on his palm even more so. But feeling a
teasing smile form there was what made his heart
catch, "I am not certain if a garden to your
satisfaction could be made on the mountain, but
dwarrows are ingenious, we would try to give you
everything to bring you pleasure."
With a soft laugh of sheer relief for everything
this night had brought, Bilbo used Thorin's grip
to lever himself up, bringing his other hand to
the king's shoulder and, still grinning, knocked
his forehead to his suitor's, which he was sure
this conversation made this taciturn dwarf.
Then he tilted his head, slotting their noses and
held the position with their lips still a good
inch apart, eyes locked to surprised blue ones,
wondering if this was something dwarrows did.. or
at least that this dwarf would be willing to do.
His few adventures in kissing had never extended
to locking lips with a grin before, but as he
found himself sliding hands into travel-gnarled
long hair that was just as foreign, the lips
teasingly touching his were tightly stretched to
match the chuckle shaking the body he clung to.
Not that his own laughter was helping satisfy
anyone's hunger.
AN:
'amad : mother
Chapter Two
Summary: "Being Drawn to someone does not mean
knowing that person, or what a suitable token
would be. But I could not chase after you without
at least some hope, so I hedged my bets as best I
could."
When he woke, before dawn had broken or other
dwarves stirred, the first thing Thorin saw was
his hobbit, sitting a short foot away from his
left thigh, smiling face tilted to the still-dark
sky.
"Bilbo?" he cleared his throat of the morning
gravel as Bilbo looked down at him, still smiling,
"Did you not sleep?"
"No." Bilbo didn't bother to explain the custom;
instead he shifted to shake out his legs a bit and
then re-settled, both his closed hands back on his
thighs, facing Thorin as the dwarf sat up. Aware
that the others would be waking soon, he didn't
allow himself the luxury of simply staring at his
intended, who was allowing Bilbo to see him
peacefully sleep-muddled rather than pasting on
his usual mask. Instead, he took a slow breath and
started. "When hobbits ask someone to marry them,
they give a token."
Ignoring the sharp air intake he heard, he opened
one of his fists, exposing an inch-wide,
scroll-worked locket, "This was my Took
grandmother's. Mother used to tell me that she
could fairly *smell* the adventures her mother had
had on it," he held it up between them, not
showing how pleased he was at Thorin's almost awed
expression as he looked at what had to be, in the
end, a simple trinket, by dwarf standards. "She
said it came from Outside, and although I believed
it then, I believe it almost more now. The
work..."
"It is from the Iron hills," Thorin's hand reached
but did not touch, "By a master silversmith. That
too-fine scroll-work makes it an expensive piece
if it was bought. I would suspect a gift," he
smiled at Bilbo, "Which I would expect means its
price was higher for someone than any coin could
hope to match."
Bilbo smiled back, sparing a moment to wish his
mother could have heard that. Could know Thorin.
He shook off the thought; no sadness here.
Bringing the locket back to his lap, he opened his
other hand to expose a pocket watch. He looked up,
trying to keep his expression as neutral as it had
been, "This was my father's. He never wound it; he
always said that 'a proper hobbit always knows
where he should be' and certainly didn't require
some timepiece like those always-late Big Folk.
You should never need the help of foreign magics
to keep track of the important things in life."
Bilbo grinned, "He would no more leave the house
without a handkerchief than he would be late for
elevensies with his father-in-law the Thain." He
stroked the hobbit-sized watch that sat in his
palm, warm and comfortable, the edges worn from
years of such handling at his father's hands, "It
isn't solid gold; not gold at all, actually. Bungo
Baggins didn't approve of ostentation. But he was
a well-to-do hobbit and as such had certain
expectations of appearance to meet." Bilbo
shrugged, "A brass watch that was never used but
carried status because of our contact with Big
Folk."
He took a careful deep breath and looked up,
"Being Drawn to someone does not mean knowing that
person, or what a suitable token would be. But I
could not chase after you without at least some
hope, so I hedged my bets as best I could."
Thorin's breath stuttered, realizing that in all
the last evening.. Bilbo had never actually
*said*... smiles, bright eyes and a kiss were not
the same, and his voice could not hide the husk of
joy warming him, "And now?"
"It would honour my grandmother for her locket to
be so right at home on my husband's chest; and my
family's treasures are yours," Bilbo tilted a grin
at him, well-deserved confidence implied in the
words, but his eyes watched Thorin, a question
waiting patiently, "Should you accept me."
With the grin fading to seriousness, and before
Thorin could reply, the hobbit reached out slowly
with a closed hand, nodding approval when Thorin's
own hand opened to meet it, his voice taking on a
formal tone that spoke of traditional words,
making Thorin's pulse pick up with anticipation.
"If it would please you, I wish to spend my life
at your side, Thorin Oakenshield. For my life to
always be twined with yours, wherever the rope
might take us." He opened his hand to drop its
warm gift into Thorin's palm, "You have already
shown many times over that you accept me as I am,
as I hope I have done of you," Thorin closed his
hand possessively on the watch, feeling fierce joy
listening to Bilbo's breath catch, knowing his
feelings were matched. Returning his mate's
suddenly shaky grin with one he could feel
stretching across his face. "I love you, my king
of dwarves."
Lips twisting at the loving tease invested in the
title, Thorin bowed his head slowly, needing to
convey all that he had not the words for right
then. Wanting to complete his acceptance properly,
he thought quickly, then tied the watch to a rivet
hole left empty in his brigantine's collar from a
lost plate, securing the body tight to not get
caught or move, even during battle. Securing its
place in his life.
Content with the result, he met Bilbo's very
pleased smile with his own, still without words,
half-aware that Nori was unabashedly staring at
them from the other end of camp; and that he could
hear others stirring.
"And how do dwarves show they are promised?"
Thorin winced at the question he's known would
come, hand fisting in frustration before he met
his One's gaze apologetically, "By wearing a
specific braid," his lips twisted with
self-mockery, "With a bead made by the one you
have promised yourself to. And as I was not as
self-aware as you, âzyungâl, I did not make a bead
when I could have. And now have no means to do
so."
Nodding without surprise and running a hand
absently through his, maybe luckily, much longer
than they used to be curls, Bilbo muttered with
slight concern, "I rather though a braid would
come into it."
He hesitated, weighing Thorin's pride against his
love of custom, "I remember seeing beads made of
wood..." When the silence and unhappy frown lasted
too long, he rose to his knees and moved forward,
calmly settling with his forehead to Thorin's,
"*We* will know what it means. That your hand made
it, that I am yours and you accept me,
*Oaken*shield." He touched the watch jury-rigged
to an old warrior's worn armour, "Just as only you
and I know what this means."
Thorin reached up and put his hand on top of
Bilbo's, pressing the token to his shoulder. Aware
of whispers coming from the camp at their intimate
position. No dwarf would hide his One, though
Thorin might have preferred to have waited until
their braids were in place to announce this to his
noisy, outspoken, teasing company. But he would
not push away his âzyungâl for pride.
He met Bilbo's understanding eyes, thinking of the
compromises the hobbit had reminded them both that
they would have to make. His dwarven heart might
wish for metal and gems to be used for most
things, but the branch that gave him his name had
shielded him from many blows over the years, for
all that it was mere wood. If it meant he could
lay claim to his One sooner rather than later,
especially a later that might not come before the
Halls of Mandos, well, his hobbit's fondness for
growing things made a wooden bead undeniably
appropriate.
Unable not to smile at the quick-witted mate Mahal
had made him for, he slowly nodded his head up and
down to stroke his nose along his One's, then
pulled back to reluctantly stand, tugging Bilbo up
with him.
AN: âzyungâl: lover
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