I wish you...
Author: wanderingsmith
mar 20, 2016
Summary: "To my friends, I wish you
peace, love and health. Blah blah blah...
screw that! I wish you lots of sex, booze,
orgasms, and I hope you win the lotto."
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and
nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As
it is thought, so let it be said; you make the
toys, I play with 'em..
To break up the melancholy that seemed to follow
any group doing too much drinking and thinking
about the new year, Thorn had pulled out his phone
to read them the slew of positive wishes that
filled Facebook with the damned season. "Arriving
at one goal is the start of another." Waiting
patiently for the expected boos, groans and verbal
rolled eyes to die down again, he cruised down the
feed for his next one. Grinning when he found a
good one, "Here's a nice one:" he pulled on a
cheesy grandiose tone, "To my friends, I wish you
peace, love and health. Blah blah blah... screw
that! I wish you lots of sex, booze, orgasms, and
I hope you win the lotto."
The gang's cheers and catcalls in response weren't
even sarcastic, this time. At least not until
Barney snorted, sitting toward the back with a
smoke haze only half-hiding his glower, "Not
fucking likely."
In the middle of the automatic laughter in
response, Doc stopped and turned around to blink
at the grouch, "Wait. You *have* booze in your
hand, and I know you don't give a shit about
money. Did you just complain about not having
enough sex??"
Barney just rolled his eyes and threw him, and the
rest of the hecklers now turning to him with
disbelieving smirks, the finger.
He didn't notice that Lee gave him a long, silent,
look, as the rest teased.
--
The evening had wound down: half the gang bunking
down in the plane, the others piling into a taxi
to go invade Toll's nearby house that happened to
have enough living room space for a handful of
adults to sleep. And with the clear sky starting
to change to herald the sun's coming, Barney had
grabbed his sleeping bag and headed for his truck
bed to sit and have a smoke as he watched the new
year come in.
Just as he was settling on his makeshift seat,
after only one sideways stumble, his back leaning
against the cabin, tailgate open to the East, he
wasn't especially surprised to see Christmas
appear and hop up without a word. And no wobble,
the damn liquor-handling bastard.
Barney did have to shake his head as he accepted
the bag of munchies he'd brought, though. Lee
*did* have his priorities.
"Thought you took off with the guys."
Lee glanced at him as he folded up his own
sleeping bag into a thick cushion for his flat
ass, Barney's eyes rolling at the memory of years
of complaints about hard ground on the
aforementioned anatomy. "Naw. I'll crash on your
back seat if you're taking the truck bed."
He finally settled down, shoulder warm against
Barney's as he gave the brit back his food after
grabbing himself a handful, and Barney shrugged,
"We can share. We didn't kill each other waiting 8
hours in that damn foxhole in Bulgaria, this is
like king-sized luxury."
For a while, the only sound was the crunching of
chips and the chirping of crickets as they sat and
stared at the shifting colours breaking up the
darkness.
"So."
Barney looked besides him lazily at the almost
hesitant word, watching Lee fish for another
cheesy and crunch it in several studious bites,
never looking away from the Eastern sky.
"I could have sworn that Maggie, just for one, was
more than willing to share a couple of those New
Year's wishes," Lee turned to meet Barney's
widened eyes, "You liked her. Just what's stopping
you?"
Hell. That'd teach him to drink that much in
public! It was Barney's turn to fix his eyes on
the sky as he tried to come up with something
close enough to the truth to pass Lee's radar.
"Sure, I like her. Doesn't mean I want to sleep
with her. Or that I'd be willing to risk messing
with what could be a decent friendship just to get
off."
He should have cracked a cigar before, the smoke
would be handy: he wasn't quite sober enough to
risk turning his head at the grunt he got. He was
just glad it wasn't followed by another salvo;
maybe the man was drunk enough, himself, to drop
the line.
He should have known better.
"You saying there's no one you'd actually *want*
to sleep with?"
If it'd been said in disbelief, Barney'd be
tempted to actually try to remember a Baywatch
babe's name. Unfortunately, that serious tone
wasn't safe: Christmas was on a damned mission.
Barney's eyes dropped closed as he swore under his
breath. "If I point out that my sex life is none
of your business, would you just drop this,
Christmas?"
"No."
"Bastard."
"If you just want to get off-"
"I *never* said that!"
Shit! Slipped. The silence was too damn thick for
anything good to come of it.
"..If you don't ever *start* a relationship,
there's no way you'll ever have a lasting one, you
know?"
Fuck. Barney looked up at the pink sky and thought
'This is no fitting pay back for the shit I've
done, for fuck's sake! Just send someone to shoot
me!'. And he was *not* going to throw the man's
failed relationships at him. He *wasn't*. That
soft tone said he was was actually trying to be
nice; not ragging.
"So why aren't you making a play for whoever it is
you *do* want to make time with? Married?"
It was a fucking sad day when he wished that *was*
it. "What makes you think I haven't already made a
play?"
This time the silence almost gave him hope he'd
get out of it.
"Did you? Make a *serious* play and get shot
down?"
Shit. When did the bastard get to knowing him that
well? Last try, "No. They aren't interested,
Christmas, would you just drop it?"
"She lesbian?"
He was *never* drinking in public again.
At least he was 99% sure Lee wouldn't care, and
would keep it to himself. Otherwise he'd have had
to exit this conversation without another word.
And then probably yell at Christmas every five
minutes for the next few months every time he
brought it back up. "No. He's straight." Goddamn
it! He was going to have to watch every goddamned
move he made, now: nothing would slide under the
radar, anymore.
"Good."
The crinkle of the chip bag being shoved aside
almost covered the mutter. Barney still jerked his
head around to look at the man in disbelief,
though. "Good??"
The wolfish grin he found being aimed at him was
so far from what he expected that he didn't even
react as Lee swung a knee between Barney's legs to
straddle his left thigh. "I wasn't going to make a
play if you were pining for a girl; would have
dragged you to some bars or meet and greets. But
if it's some guy, *that* I'm willing to compete
with."
He still hadn't found words when Lee leaned in and
he had soft lips touching his almost hesitantly.
It didn't last near long enough, and when Barney
dragged his eyes open, he caught a wary
watchfulness on Lee's face and he shook his head
gently, feeling a grin stretching his cheeks. He
tipped his head to the side, hands hesitantly
finding Lee's thighs as he whispered deliberately
into Lee's ear, "You're competing with
*yourself*."
It really wasn't that simple, but he still felt
laughter building in him. It just never had a
chance to escape as he found himself with a
lapfull of Christmas pressing him back against the
truck cab and a mouth full of tongue bypassing
alcohol's dulling effects to send arousal
tightening through him.
When the sun popped over the horizon and over the
tailgate, it landed on his closed eyelids as the
hard plastic ridges of the truck bed dug into his
arm and side as he squeezed hard at Lee's smooth
ass inside his loosened slacks, their legs tangled
and neither of them quite managing to hold a kiss
through their moans as Lee's strong, calloused
right hand jerked them both off.
"Fuck- Lee!" Barney's head jerked back and smacked
on the wheelwell as a particularly tight twisting
pull sent him over the edge that had been burning
him, and pleasure whited out his senses for a long
minute.
When he slowly came back, it was to Lee's
breathing just getting back to normal against his
throat, his back against those damn ridges, Lee's
arms around his arms, Lee's hands on his
shoulders.
He was going to be black blue. But damned if he
could feel it, right now. He hardly had to bend
his head to run his lips over the already
sun-warmed dome of Lee's skull. "If you're going
to insist on doing this regularly, remind me to
change this damn liner to something smoother."
Lee didn't bother lifting his head, but he
laughed, and Barney could picture the grin,
tightening his hold to keep the man's weight on
him. "You as good as asked for 'lots of sex and
orgasms'. And we spend way too much time around
this place. Unless you get a bed in the hangar,
this is the better place."
Barney just grunted in response. Easier to get a
flat liner than to keep a bed in the hangar from
becoming a magnet for piles of crap. All of which
was besides the point anyway. How the hell had the
damned brit distracted him from the realities...
Damn he really was being an idiot today.
The hand on his right shoulder lifted and landed
in a slap. "Quit worrying, Barney. I didn't let
you fuck up our friendship before, I won't let you
do it now. We are going to get off regularly, we
are going to sleep together and we're going to
argue over what sheets to buy. And we're still
going to go out and get shot at and have to come
up with new plans when yours fall through. Only
difference is if some babe puts moves on you," Lee
raised his head and gave Barney a mock-scowl,
"I'll damn well tell her 'Paws off' and kiss the
hell out of you in front of her."
It was Barney's turn to laugh, trying to picture
the look Maggie would have given them. Lee was
holding onto him tight to keep his place and
grinning down at him, keeping the sun from
blinding Barney as he looked up and grinned back,
"Sandra knew, if that makes you feel better."
Lee rolled his eyes before laying his head back
down, making Barney grunt as the sun stabbed his
eyes before he got them closed. "Doesn't really,
no. Still woulda tongue-fucked you good."
"Possessive bastard."
"Fuck yes. Finally got you. Not sharing."
Barney slid a hand up to cup Lee's skull, stroking
gently; enjoying, for now, the stupid sentimental
warmth in his gut that he knew damn well was from
knowing Lee wanted him. "Got nothing to be jealous
about." So many other ways they could fuck this
up, but he knew his even *noticing* anyone else
wasn't one of them, after all these years.
"Don't care. Mine, now."
"Shut up and go to sleep." Maybe after some
shuteye he'd find an argument that'd work. Not
likely, but maybe. Lee's agreeable humm against
his chest was nice, though.
It unfortunately didn't occur to either of them to
get in the back seat, or at least close the
tailgate, until Mars' wolf whistle woke them up,
hours later.
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