Trust
Author: wanderingsmith
Started feb 16, 2015 - latest update
mar 10, 2015 -
Summary: "NO!! Don't give him
morphine!"
"..Too late. Why-"
"SHIT! TOLL!" Barney didn't wait for the
reply, already on his feet and running for the
plane, ducking to try to avoid the handgun
fire coming toward him.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and
nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As
it is thought, so let it be said; you make the
toys, I play with 'em..
AN: shameless excuse for
comforting!barney.
*** This is NOT in the same Universe as 'Love
you, man' ***
Goto Chapter 2
Goto Chapter 3
Chapter
one
feb
15, 2015
"Smilee! Report!" Barney slid behind a rock a
few rough hundred feet from their transport,
ducking as bullets send stone fragments at his
face.
"Made the plane with Doc and Christmas. Area
still clear. Christmas hit. Doc says he'll be
fine, just going to patch him-"
Returning fire at the troop of local militia
that had managed to chase them all the way here,
Barney heard faint shouting on the radio, "No
fucking morphine, dammit I can't-" "Quit being
stupid, we already know you got balls! Mars!
Hold the idiot!" And then Smilee's voice
sounded, as though he was facing away, before
Barney could speak up, "Christ, what the hell-"
Shit! "NO!! Don't give him morphine!"
"..What?"
"Stop Doc!" FUCK! Shoulda kept Lee with him-
"..Too late. Why-"
"SHIT! TOLL!" Barney didn't wait for the reply,
already on his feet and running for the plane,
ducking to try to avoid the handgun fire coming
toward him.
Toll clicked in calmly on the radio, "Heard. Got
you covered."
"Shit! What the HELL!" Smilee's cut was anything
*but* calm, not that Barney expected any
different.
"SMILEE! Put your radio to max- as close to him-
as you can!" Barney was already panting from
running full out over the damn terrain, but he
could hear the shouting behind Smilee and
couldn't let himself slow.
"This is as-"
As soon as he heard the wild shout get near the
radio, Barney didn't wait, shouting back as best
he could, "LEE! Listen to me! They don't- mean
you- harm! You hear- my voice- Lee??"
"Barn?? Where- Get away! Fuck off, you fucking
bastard!"
"LEE!! Settle! DOC! Don't try- to do an'thin'-
'til I get there! Just keep- him from- hurting
himself! Lee! Talk to me!"
"Let me go! Asshole bastards, let me- Barney!"
Barney didn't stop when he flew in the borrowed
hydroplane's side door, just located Lee and
dived for him, the kids clustered around trying
to hold the viciously struggling kickboxer on
his back jerking out of his way just in time.
"Goddammit Lee! Settle I said!" Ignoring the
scream of pain from his abused body, he got his
hands around Lee's rock-hard tensed jaw and
forced his wild and dilated eyes on Barney's,
ignoring the fingers flying up sharp and hard to
try to shove him away now that Doc had let go
and got himself out of range, "It's ME! Come on-
settle down. I'm not going to let- anyone hurt
you!"
"Barney?"
"Yes!" He leaned forward, half laying on his
side besides Lee, letting his forehead fall
against his while trying to catch his breath;
glad to hear recognition in the man's high and
still freaked-out voice, "It's OK. Doc isn't
going to hurt you. You need to let him patch
your leg. You're bleeding like hell all over the
damn rent-a-plane."
"Barney."
With a last deep breath, Barney raised his head,
giving the confused man a firm look while he
pitched his voice, "Doc. Do what you have to.
Make it quick. Lee. You trust me."
"I- ..Barney? What..."
Barney growled under his breath, tired but
feeling the clock ticking at the back of his
mind, "Doc didn't know; he gave you morphine.
Thorn?"
"Yeah?"
"Did I hear you can fly?"
"Yes. Private license only."
"Can you start this thing?"
"Yes."
He kept his eyes locked on Lee as he kept
talking, knowing the man didn't really care what
he said, in this state, just needed the familiar
voice to stay calm, "Go. Doc. He's.. got some
sort of allergy to morphine. Goes nuts on
everybody so don't take it personally."
"How do you patch him up?"
Lee frowned, obviously registering Doc's voice
too close, and Barney hushed him, "Shh. Lee.
Trust me?"
Lee's hands tried to pull himself closer to
Barney and Barney shifted so he wouldn't need to
move, laying tight to his side now, as Doc
worked his far leg and Barney distantly heard
the rest of the team coming in, registering Toll
coming to sit on Lee's other side to help if he
went nuts again. "You gotta let Doc patch you,
Lee. I gotta fly out of here. I'm only going to
the cockpit; I'll keep talking. But you need to
stay calm. Yeah?" he tried to stare his honesty
at the man, but those unfocused eyes didn't give
him a good feeling.
When the engines rumbled to life, Lee still
hadn't answered and Barney could hear weapons
fire getting too close. "Doc. Is he good enough
to make it?"
"..Yeah. If he doesn't move."
One last try. "Lee?"
The too-quick breath and desperate stare said
this wasn't going to be one of the better times.
"Shit! Toll. Help me get him to his seat."
"What??"
Barney shook his head at Doc's exclamation,
"He'll freak as soon as I move. I'd rather you
not have to punch him unconscious." Moving slow
but steady, Barney sat up and pulled Lee with
him, "If I'm not around, it's either a piece of
wood to bite on, or a punch to the head. He's
fine with anaesthetic, and even other
painkillers, but morphine..." he shook his head,
pulling Lee's arm around his neck to carry his
silently drugged self to the cockpit.
Chapter
two
With Toll's careful help, he got Lee strapped into
his seat a minute before Gunner threw himself in
the plane as Mars and Caesar covered him as best
they could from the edges of the door.
Barney hurriedly got them away from shore and
eventually airborne without further mishaps.
Settling more comfortably into his seat for the
flight, he finally had a chance to check on his
drugged copilot, not surprised, from past
experience, to find his eyes now dazed vague and
stuck on Barney. "Lee? With me?"
It took a few blinks for words to form, and as he
waited, Barney checked the bandage on Lee's leg,
making sure it wasn't bleeding through.
"With.. you. Going home?"
Barney smiled, always feeling weirdly gentle when
Lee got like this, reaching over to grip Lee's
shoulder quick, "Going home, Lee."
He could hear the quiet tone of conversation in
the hold and trusted that it meant everyone else
was fine. A few minutes of quiet flying later, he
heard Doc's steps coming up and reached over to
grip Lee's hand, "Lee? Remember you trust me. Doc
only wants to help."
Lee didn't get around to reacting before Doc came
up between their seats and Barney kept his
handhold, hoping the spell would hold. He was damn
glad the old Expendable stayed back rather than
get in Lee's personal space the way he too often
did.
"Sorry Barney. He tried to tell us-"
"Don' worry 'bout it, Doc. Lee'll understand when
he sobers up. I knew you made yourself a kit;
shoulda remembered to warn ya. Just been a long
time since we had to risk the reaction. Forgot."
"You seriously punch him out?"
Barney grimaced, hand tightening reflexively, "I
keep hydromorphone in my kit for when it's really
bad and I can't have him out, but it messes with
his head too. Not violent but.. he says he'd
rather the headache from a punch. And Toll and
Gunner get sick with the synthetic shit so we
didn't just change everyone over."
"Shit."
"Shoulda told ya."
"Yeah. Gunner says the first time it happened he
could barely hold him."
"Yeah. Phil was about to punch him before he made
the cut on his arm worse. You saw how he gets,
doesn't seem to recognize anyone or hear anything
people say, let along understand."
"Except you."
Barney ignored the wheedling tone, used to
everyone making a fuss about it, "When I got to
their position and started yelling what the fuck,
he actually focused on me." Barney stopped,
surprised to feel Lee squeeze his hand back, even
though he didn't said anything. Looking over, his
expression hadn't changed, so Barney left it at
that; as long as he stayed calm, they were good.
"He ever make a guess why?"
"No. Says he never could take the stuff." He'd
also said, quietly to Barney one night on the
hangover side of an episode, that no one had ever
been able to make his head calm the fuck down
during the episodes before.
Barney had taken that as an encouraging sign that
the still too quiet brit must trust him at least a
little. Considering that he knew hardly anything
of the man even after 4 months, Barney had been
glad for the reassurance.
"If *you* carry the kit safe for him, why the hell
wasn't he with you?"
Barney winced, starting to hunch as his own guilt
tried to kick in. But then he felt Lee jerk and
was hitting autopilot and turning, everything
forgotten except getting to his friend to keep him
in his seat before he messed up his stitches.
Lee'd only managed to wrench himself sideways
through the belt around his chest, face twisted
with fury and arms flailing for Doc, who pulled
back, looking guilty. Barney wrapped his arms
awkwardly around Lee and the seat, back stiff to
keep his weight off his injured lap, mouth at
Lee's ear, "Lee! No! Don't move, damn it!" he
turned his face enough to get an eye glaring at
Doc and snarl at him, "Doc get the hell out!"
Lee's hands were gripping rhythmically at his
back, pissed off growl in his throat; not fighting
him, thank god, but stiff and back in the violent
end of the reaction, and Barney growled himself,
knowing things weren't *that* bad, but.. still
worrying. "Come on Lee. Ease up. It's just you and
me. Won't let anyone else near if you really can't
take it." Safe bet no one else was going to come
up here unless they had to, anyway.
"Barney." One of the hands came up to his head and
Barney winced, waiting for the jerk to his hair.
Unprepared to be pulled tighter to Lee's neck
instead. Lee's head drooped sideways to lean on
his, "Home."
And Barney relaxed at the whimpery sigh. He could
feel the plane was steady and allowed himself to
stay where he was, shifting a knee besides Lee's
good leg to give his back a break, hoping the
airspace stayed clear. "Yeah. Going home. You're
alright, Lee. Another couple hours and you'll be
out of the fog. Just trust me."
"Trust you."
Barney couldn't tell if it was just a repetition
of his voice or a statement, but really, either
amounted to the same thing. And Lee's body was
relaxed now, hands holding onto Barney's hip and
head but otherwise loose and calm.
"Better?" A grunt was all he got as an answer,
"Okay to let me get back to flying?"
The grumpy mutter and tightening hands made him
huff a laugh, "You want to get home, you gotta let
me fly, Lee."
When the hands let him go, Barney slowly
straightened, wincing at the stupid position's
results before catching sight of Lee's sad pout
and smiling. A clumsy shuffle over to drop into
his seat and hurriedly reassure himself the flight
was still clear and then he checked that Lee's
bandages were also still clear after the
excitement. And *then* he could relax.
AN:
no promise of more.. was just a brief scene
hat appeared.. but was sitting there glaring
at me..
Chapter
three
mar
10, 2015
AN: there was a request for more....
Once he was taxiing to the rental's hangar, Barney
glanced at the still-dazed eyes of his his copilot
and tapped his mic, "Caesar, can you get everyone
offloaded and clear us a path to one of the
trucks?" He could already see a group of grounds
people hanging around, no doubt ready to swarm the
returning plane.
"Sure."
Rolling his eyes at the too-casual word, Barney
added, to remind the man of the situation, "And
you guys figure out who's going to be driving."
"Shit. Right." The slightly more animated response
proved the man'd been reminded that their usual
driver was out of commission, and Barney sure as
fuck wasn't keeping Lee sitting up next to him
just because he'd rather be in control!
He took his time shutting the plane down to give
the gang time to clear out, and then got up and
stepped to Lee's side.
"Hey."
"Barney?"
"Yeah. Changing transportation, my friend." He
leaned down to get the belts undone, "Guys cleared
us a path to the truck. We just gotta get you outa
this cockpit without ripping your stitches,
alright?" By then he had Lee free of restrictions
and had his hands on the seat's armrests, "Gonna
get you up, ok? No putting weight on your left
leg." A couple blinks was about as good an answer
as he was gonna get so he carefully got his hands
fisted in Lee's belt and looked up, "Put your arms
around my neck."
The movement was jerky, but Lee understood him and
ended up with his head on Barney's shoulder, arms
as tight as he could ask. "Ok, here we go. You
keep those arms tight, keep the rest loose and
don't step on that damn leg. Just let me move you.
Here we go, up."
He got Lee up clean enough, then slowly shifted
them around in the awkward cockpit, trying to keep
Lee's weight all on Barney's hands. And then they
were free of the low roof and into the hold and he
could straighten and wrap an arm around Lee's
waist. "Ok, let go the neck, that's it, just lemme
take the one arm, just like this, good. This'd be
damn sight easier if I could carry ya, Christmas."
Except that when he sobered up he'd scream bloody
murder. And might just quit on Barney. And that
just- "So we're going to hop it. You let me lift
your weight and you don't fucking put that damn
leg down. Got it?"
With Barney as his missing leg, and taking the
weight from even his good leg, Lee didn't seem to
feel the walk. And the guys kept the ground crew
and themselves at least a couple feet away and
there was no freaking out.
It was an awkward enough shuffle that *Barney*
felt the damn walk and was fucking glad to get
them to the back of the military transport truck.
Laying Lee down on his back as far back in the
cargo space at the very back of the hold, and
laying himself down between him and the seats,
Barney sighed in relief at the uneventful move
before radioing the others to load up.
"See? All good. Better than sitting in that plane
seat, right?"
Before Lee could answer, Doc stepped up to look
down at Barney and wordlessly gave him a blanket
before turning to the seats as the truck started
to roll.
Glad the seats were a couple feet away from the
two of them, Barney gripped Lee's stiff shoulder,
"Relax, he's gone. Brought you a present though.
This is gonna get chilly quick. Let's get you
covered."
--
Barney was keeping his head busy going through the
op to be sure he didn't have to add anything to
the bills when he felt Lee shiver, and his focus
snapped back in to the present. Opening his eyes
and carefully turning on his side and tucking
himself closer to the wounded man's side to keep
him warmer, he squeezed the hand he held, waiting
for him to wade his way through the webs in his
head.
"Wha..."
Barney found another fraction of an inch to get
rid of between them at the miserable, pained
mumble, "Doc gave you morphine."
"..Shit. Sorry."
He grunted at the apologetic tone, "Shut up. Not
your fault."
"I hurt anyone?" The remnant of a growl in the
voice at the mention of others would have told
Barney, even if he didn't remember, that clearer
thought didn't equal Lee's equanimity having
returned, yet.
"Didn't look like it. All the kids together could
just about hold you down." His hand twitched as he
felt Lee start to shake, "Cold?"
"Yeah."
Unfortunately, the truck was stripped to metal
frame and their blanket barely utilitarian. Barney
grimaced, disliking having to move him when his
whole body was probably hurting with withdrawal,
but- He sat up carefully, working by feel in the
dim light, then took his coat off before sliding
an arm under Lee's back, "Sit; slow and easy.
Careful with the leg."
"Ow, fuck!"
Ignoring the sound of the other occupants of the
truck shifting nearby from that snarl, Barney took
the blanket off his patient and instead got his
coat on Lee's shivering shoulders as quick as he
could, then wrapped his arms around Lee's chest
and hips, "Ok, slow and easy, let me turn you on..
That's it, bad leg on me and- sorry! Come on,
almost there, just hang on, there we go. Hold on
and just let me-" Laying on his back and trying to
keep his chest a steady surface to lay on, he
reached for the blanket besides them and did his
best to throw it to cover Lee's body as it lay
three quarters over Barney, "Ok. Best I can do.
Try to relax."
It took a few minutes, Barney's eyes back to
closed and his hands half keeping Lee in place,
half trying to rub warmth into him, but,
eventually, the shivers toned down enough that
Lee's head finally fully rested on Barney's pec.
"Warmer?"
"Yeah."
They both grunted when the truck hit a bump and
thumped the hard floor into Barney's back, and
thumped Barney's leg against Lee's. "Fuck. Gonna
be another few hours before we get to the
safehouse. Think you can sleep?" It was a faint
hope, but sometimes-
"..No. Head killing me."
Barney silently brought his hands up to the top of
Lee's head and pressed slow, steady circles into
familiar hollows on the crown. Wasn't often
reaction hit Lee hard enough that he let Barney do
this without getting defencive but, maybe because
he hadn't had any morphine in years, it seemed to
have hit harder. Or maybe the almost 50-year-old
was taking the hit worse.
"You don't have to."
-Nope: there it was. Barney rolled his eyes. "How
many years have I been telling you to shut the
fuck up about it? We take care of each other. Like
Luna says: we're family."
"Rest of the family doesn't force *you* to be the
caretaker."
Barney shook his head, "Rest of the family
wouldn't be able to make me accept my limitations
and let them cover for me. Just shut up and focus
on my fingers until the rest of the ache lets you
sleep, Lee. You know damn well I'm not going to
let you talk me out of this."
Once, and only once, he'd let Lee convince him to
leave him once he could think relatively straight.
Half the, at the time, twelve-man team had been
injured, and though Cain had been piloting the
boat to safety, still Barney felt guilty not
checking on everyone. He'd been halfway through
going around talking to every man and woman when
Xav, whom he'd asked to keep half an eye on
Christmas, had shouted his name and he'd found his
friend curled into a corner, cringing from Xav who
was vacillating between trying to get to him and
not wanting to touch him after his earlier
reaction.
Soaked in sweat and stuck in a fucking panic
attack and *hell* if Barney was going to step away
for anything short of life or death reasons!
"Stubborn bastard."
Barney snorted, "That'd be why we get along."
If the road wasn't so rough, even aside from the
noticeable bumps, it wouldn't be so bad to lay
there. Lee resting as well as could be expected,
warm enough as a living blanket that the chill of
the steel floor through Barney's shirt was
bearable. Good to be allowed to give comforting
touch. It was one thing to be used to being alone,
but touching Lee like this reminded him of the
emptiness that he usually buried under work.
"I really ask you to take me home?"
The quiet mutter was followed with feeling Lee's
shoulders loosen from their pain-tensed stiffness
and Barney made sure not to react; keep his
fingers moving, keep his body still. Didn't look
like Lee was going to let himself sleep, but at
least if he relaxed it meant he wasn't in so much
pain.
Made his voice quiet and soothing, "Yeah, you
did." And maybe some of the stupidly gentle care
that drugged-Lee drew out of him snuck into the
tone, but it'd hardly be the first time he
slipped.
"Do trust you."
Barney's breath caught at that, and his fingers
stilled. Not so long ago, he'd have taken that for
granted. But they hadn't quite recovered from the
whole Stonebanks mess, yet; for all that they both
tried to pretend, Barney knew there was a distance
between them that had never been there, before.
Eyes wide and staring into the dark nothing of the
truck ceiling, he swallowed thickly and made his
fingers start moving again, even though it felt
like they were swollen clumsy. It took a few
unsteady breaths before he could find words, and a
few more before he trusted his voice, "That's good
to know." Shoulda waited longer; he could hear a
shiver in that.
And Lee's hands slipping to rest on the sides of
his neck said he heard it too. "Still working at
forgiving you. But I *do* trust you."
"..'ll take what I can."
--
"Boss?"
Lee had been quiet for probably a good hour when
Smilee's voice sounded in his ear and Barney
blinked a few times to get his mind out of the
doze it'd apparently slipped into. Then he took a
hand from its lazy massage at Lee's skull to
trigger his mic, hushing the man when he grumbled
sleepily at the disruption, "Shh. Just Smilee
calling." He taped the mic, and muttered quietly,
"Smilee?"
"Ceasar said to let you know when we were 10
minutes from the safehouse."
"Already? Made good time. Thanks for the heads
up."
"Time to get up?"
The question was only normal Lee-grumpy, for all
that the man hadn't moved. "10 minutes, yeah. How
you feeling?"
"Alright. Body just aching a bit," which Barney
knew meant his muscles were probably all but
spasming, "Leg stings like a bitch. Doc say how
bad the damage was?"
"Err," Barney's fingers stilled in dismay, "Shit
I.. I didn't ask. Just asked if it was safe to
move you..."
Lee's chest shook over his as the obviously much
recovered man chuckled, "Well shit, Barney. Talk
about failing." The words dug at Barney, even with
the unfaked amusement in them, but before the
guilt could really claw in, he felt Lee's fingers,
warm on his throat all this time, slip up and tap
at his cheek, mostly gently, voice a low grumble,
almost lost in the truck's noise, "Cut it out.
Nothing you could do different regardless of his
answer. You'd have asked as soon as we settled
down, and we both know it."
When the touch stopped distracting him, Barney
couldn't really remember what they'd been talking
about. It seemed simpler, even wiser, to just let
it be for what was left of the trip.
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