Publicity
Author: wanderingsmith
Started jan 29, 2015 - latest update nov
14, 2015 -
Summary: Thorn spoke up, "But... but you
asked if we could really hack that security
system!!"
Barney's brows raised, "No, I asked if *you* could."
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd
be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought,
so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with
'em..
Goto Chapter 2
Goto Chapter 3
Chapter
one
jan
29, 2015
"You guys got into the Swiss bank?? How the Hell'd you
do that without hacking?" Thorn's voice was almost
high with his disbelief.
Lee gave him a dry look, "We *did* hack in."
"Oh." The kid looked a little embarrassed, but also
oddly reassured, "Hired someone uh? Or.. did you have
someone on the team, then?"
Lee stared at him steadily for a minute, trying to
remember what he'd heard about their attempt to take
Stonebanks. He finally turned to Barney, sitting next
to him lost in his thoughts as Lee and Thorn, and most
of the the expanded team, hung out and chatted around
a few tables at the bar, "I know you like playing the
muscle-bound knucklehead, but you better not be
starting to buy your own publicity."
Barney immediately focused on him and smirked, proving
he was perfectly aware of the conversations around
him. He dragged out the curiosity that Lee could feel
coming from Thorn, now, by having a leisurely swallow
of his beer while Lee watched him and tried not to
laugh.
"I *don't* buy into it. I just let everyone else buy
it."
Lee just snorted, but Thorn was obviously catching the
drift and getting agitated and finally spoke up,
"But... but you asked if we could really hack that
security system!!"
Barney's brows raised, "No, I asked if *you* could."
While the kid sputtered, Lee added, aware that the
other new members had started paying attention, "He's
a master programmer, Thorn. At least as long as
someone's around that can stop him breaking the
technology if-" he rolled his eyes, " *When* he loses
his temper."
A beat of dead silence and a shocked stare only slowly
changed to a voice that started hesitant and ended
annoyed, "If you know programming, why the hell do you
always want to just blow shit up and go in guns
blazing??"
By then all the old team members were chuckling, and
Lee had to have sympathy for the younger folks' wide
eyes: Barney'd been tricky to see through 15 years
ago; age had only made it easier for him to hide
behind society's stereotypes.
"Thorn, I was hacking before you were born." Thorn
looked like he was going to huff, but Barney's steady,
not remotely joking look made him rethink it -or made
him do the math-, "It's a *good* skill to have. But it
doesn't solve all problems. Plenty of times blazing
some guns saves you future problems."
Lee snorted, "And he *likes* blowing shit up."
Barney gave him one of his rare full grins, "What's
not to like?"
AN:
Blame Demolition Man. for some reason the scene
near the start where he hooks that old ipad into
the payphone mutated into this, lol
Chapter
two
Lee couldn't help but notice that after that night, the
new Expendables all started watching Barney like they
were waiting for him to shape shift or something. Which
made him chuckle at first, even if Barney wore that
excessively patient look that meant he was swearing
inside his head.
Then a couple days later he caught Galgo watching *him*.
He was about to pull a very deliberate what the fuck
rant at him when he caught himself and remembered this
was one guy who wouldn't hesitate to answer the question
as though it wasn't a rhetorical rant at all.
And Lee didn't really think he wanted to know what magic
they thought *he* could do.
He should have known better than to think he'd get away
with it.
--
Tool had called to say he was going to be late with the
mission files, and the gang, after suitable
mock-groaning at being forced into each other's company
any longer than necessary, had started another pot of
coffee and sprawled out, doing small jobs like
sharpening knives, or talking shop. Lee snorted quietly
to himself, listening to Toll and Smilee: 'boasting'
would be a better word. He wasn't sure what to call
Gunner's simpering around Thorn, though. Other than
disturbing.
He firmly ignored Galgo and Doc whispering at each other
while staring at either him, or Barney who was sitting
next to him frowning at the tablet Lee'd forced into his
hands.
Caesar's kids' pictures somehow ended up going around,
though, which was good; it usually mellowed the man,
which aught to make for one less person mouthing off
during the debrief.
"So. Any small secrets *you'd* like to share with us,
boss?"
Luna's question caught Barney in the middle of a swallow
of coffee and he choked, Lee reaching over to thump his
back with a laugh, "Way to go, Luna! Been a while since
anyone managed to make him show surprise." Barney's
glare at him just made him grin wider.
"Sorry," the wrestler's grin was less than apologetic,
though, "Just thought I'd ask, you know, rather than our
getting blind-sided in a mission?"
There was a suspicious lowering of the conversational
volume level in the room that Lee didn't miss. Nor
Barney, from the wry silence he was pointedly giving the
unintimidated woman.
Lee finally had enough: he wasn't going through the
whole mission with the gang giving them both funny
looks; everyone needed to start focusing. "...Well, he
can fly."
Barney turned a disbelieving glare at him.
Lee gave him wide innocent eyes, ignoring the snorts
around them, "What?? You can!" Before Barney's open
mouth could start ranting him out, he dropped the act
and grinned, "-Planes that is," he turned the smirk on
the groaning new crew, "And choppers and fighter jets,"
he gave Barney a mock-disappointed look, "I was so
crushed when I found out he couldn't do the Harrier."
"Lee?"
Oh that so-reasonable tone spelled danger; good thing he
loved danger. Lee grinned eagerly, "Yeah, boss?"
Grin; *dangerous* grin. Grin with eyes that glowed a
promise... "Since *you're* rated on the Harrier, doing
*you* is fucking close enough to those overpriced
birds."
..He had to admit he *did* freeze for a second. Maybe
even five.
But he *definitely* recovered before the rest of the
crew, and pointed a finger to try to negate the fact
that he was grinning madly, "You just wait 'till I get
you alone. We'll see who's a 'bird'." They both knew the
best reward he could give the man for giving them away
without a damn word of warning was to nail him to the
first private wall.
"Glad you're not arguing overpriced, Christmas!"
Lee just rolled his eyes at Doc's expected snark, too
internally ecstatic, as always, with the momentarily
unshadowed joy in Barney's eyes, to seriously get
annoyed at another dig at his choice of bikes, "Just
'cause *some* of us choose to live in the 21st century-"
"Hey, I'm obviously not the only one that likes
antiques!"
"Heyyyy!" The mock-miffed look Barney was putting on
wobbled under the force of the smirk under it, "I prefer
the term 'classic'."
Lee snorted, "How about we compromise with 'original',
lover." It felt beyond good to use the word. Out of his
daydreams for only a few weeks, he'd already been
getting damn tired of hiding behind their closed door.
A bare few seconds of a soft look blinked away as Barney
turned to the fascinated crowd of misfits, "I assume
that's enough secrets to get you all focusing on the
job, now?"
The answering mutters were cut by the approaching
footsteps and an amused drawl, "I missed secret telling
hour? Damn."
Chapter
three
nov
14, 2015
AN: at a request from someone who wanted a fic on
https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/p720x720/12219434_910430525716160_5252057293233376340_n.jpg?oh=841c61293ec1c5b1b04aafcb3e951fe7&oe=56F9DFAC
It was another lazy day: this one designed to get
everyone chilled down after a mission that ran long and
tense. An old trick Barney had been taught after coming
back from 'Nam a mess; that soldiers need time with
soldiers to unpack, even if it was wordlessly, by doing
a lot of the same things that had caused the stress.
Taking the demon out of the action.
In this case, Mars and Toll were compulsively cleaning
their overused weapons. Gunner and Barney were honing
every knife to a monofilliment edge, surrounded by the
cloud of smoke from Barney's cigar. Galgo and Luna were
wrestling, without the gleaming joy they usually
displayed when doing it for fun. Thorn was feverishly
creating some new program that'd.. do something magical
to somehow avoid some of the complications that had
turned a simple demo job into a week-long run through
woods and towns while being hunted by an army.
Ceasar and Doc were muttering as they went through the
gear to get rid of everything that was too wrecked to
protect a fly. And Smilee, grim-faced, had asked Lee to
show him some of his kicks.
The fighters were the first to take a break, pulling
everyone out of their headspaces and moving slow to the
chairs haphazardly around the mini-fridge and coffee
machine. It took a few minutes for the unnatural silence
to slowly fade with Toll giving Luna a forcefully
cheerful compliment on the side-control she'd locked
Galgo in at some point. And then slowly the others
joined in.
Lee was mostly focused on Barney, half watchful for him
heading into his usual martyred bad space, half falling
all the harder for him every second he saw him
deliberately burying the bad reflexes.
He *was* trying to keep an ear tuned to the others,
too.. but locking on Barney kept him more sane than any
situational therapy.
"Hey Christmas?"
But he *did* pay attention when Smilee's turn at the
awkward conversation gambit was aimed his way, and
turned his head to the now mostly tired-looking fellow
making himself sip a Coke, "Yeah?"
"How'd you stay in that shape?"
Lee smiled wryly at the unsaid 'at your age'. Hearing
Barney chuckle softly besides him, he smirked and slowly
turned to give his man a deliberate once-over before
turned back to the kid, "Lots of sex," he grinned wider
at the groans from the others near enough to have caught
the conversation, "Some weights, and regular protein
shakes."
When Lee sent him a sly look through the laughter around
them, Barney shrugged agreeably enough, commenting
innocently, "He does make pretty good shakes."
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