Love you, man
Author: wanderingsmith
mar 1, 2015
Summary: "WHAT THE *HELL* do you think
you're doing??!"
Samwise looked over at him, all six and a half
hulking feet of him, still holding the boss up on
his tiptoes by the back of his collar on the other
side of the hastily made camp.
--
Lee's gun lowered as he walked over, really
noticing, now, the way the boss' face looked
completely dumbed down. And the arms that should be
trying to punch Sam, or at least windmilling, looked
an awful lot more like he was trying to hug the man.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd
be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought,
so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with
'em..
AN: *** This is NOT in the same Universe as
'Trust' ***
-shrug- I tend to get concepts stuck in my head.
"That's deep, Barney. Sure we can't change our pickup to
be here instead of over the border?" Barney flinched as
Doc wiped a little too close to the edges of the stab
wound in his thigh and he eased up as much as he could
while still working the blood off.
"Not a chance. He's just a local guy. Could never pay
him enough to cross the border."
Doc grimaced. Wasn't like he hadn't guessed. "Definitely
hafta stitch you up for the walk out."
"Figured."
Returning Barney's tired look with sympathy, Doc looked
away to start pulling out his surgery kit, hesitating
when he went to pull a shot of morphine and looking up,
"You still lose your head?"
Barney turned back from checking on the young'uns coming
back from checking their back trail; and glared at the
syringe.
More than half expecting the man to try to talk him into
doing the work without the painkiller, as he'd been
known to do, back in the day, Doc already had some
insults ready to give his opinion on the subject.
Instead, Barney just grimaced and sighed distinct
disgust before reaching for the radio he'd lost and then
grumbling, "Call Christmas over."
Gunner would have been more Doc's choice, or Caesar; but
he wasn't going to argue. Hell, maybe he just needed to
give his SIC instructions. He looked around but then
remembered the man'd taken Luna and gone scouting ahead
before Barney's team had even made it back to camp so he
flicked his radio instead. It only took a second to get
a reply. "Yeah?"
"Can you get back to camp, Christmas? Could use your
help."
"Was on my way. Be there in a few seconds."
--
17 years before.
"WHAT THE *HELL* do you think you're doing??!"
Samwise looked over at him, all six and a half hulking
feet of him, still holding the boss up on his tiptoes by
the back of his collar on the other side of the hastily
made camp.
Lee's eyes narrowed and his gun-point rose a half inch,
not aimed at the usually gentle giant.. but that was
going to change if the man's fist got even a fraction of
an inch closer to the man who'd given Lee a new lease on
life a few months ago.
Though the fact that Barney hadn't turned at his yell,
and wasn't trying to get away from the man holding him,
not at all.. and looked... dopey as hell..
Sam's voice rumbled out over the rest of the team's
chuckles as they otherwise ignored the byplay, "It's the
morphine, kid. When he gets it in his head he loves ya,
ain't much way to make 'im stop but a punch. Just hurts
himself when we tie 'im up. And he wouldn't thank me
when he woke up for not doing whatever was necessary to
stop 'im kissin' me."
Lee's gun lowered as he walked over, really noticing,
now, the way the boss' face looked completely dumbed
down. And the arms that should be trying to punch Sam,
or at least windmilling, looked an awful lot more like
he was trying to hug the man.
Then his eyes lit on Lee as he got within a few feet and
he smiled brightly, unrecognizable if Lee hadn't seen it
happen, "Lee!" The arms were suddenly reaching for
*him*.
And Sam, looking relieved, lowered him back to his feet
carefully, giving Lee a only half-sympathetic look,
"Watch his arm, Jake had to dig out a fragmented bullet
and stitch it up."
Lee hardly had time to process that before his boss
stumbled the two steps between them and fell on him with
a slurred but heartfelt 'I love you, man!'.
Lee let his gun swing on its strap in favour of
scrambling to shift his balance and unwrap the arms
pawing around him, "Shit! Barney! Hold *still*!" At
least the man's usual dangerous strength had
disappeared; but spaghetti-arms were just as challenging
to get away from, especially trying not to grip that
heavily-wrapped left forearm. He didn't even have time
to glare at Samwise, chuckling but at least standing
near; no doubt willing to return to his previous plan at
any encouragement.
"He doesn't really hear anything anyone says,
Christmas."
"Great- Hey!" Lee wrapped his palms around the boss'
cheeks at the last second to avoid a wide-mouthed kiss,
"Hey! Enough!" He frowned, trying to get angry but too
worried, "Barney! Listen to m- dammit." The arms were
still trying to wrap around him, and those usually
so-calm and steady eyes were shining with- well. 'Love'
was the only word that came to mind. For the whole
world, most likely. "Barney." The eyes almost focused on
him, he thought, so he took a chance, "You want to hug?"
When that resulted in an actual moment of stillness and
brightening in the eyes, he tugged the face he still
held and stared into those eyes fiercely, "No kissing.
You can hug if you stop trying to kiss anyone, got it??
Barney?" He was pretty sure he actually saw a flicker of
comprehension, however childish and sad, so he repeated
more calmly, "No kissing." When he didn't feel any more
fight against his hands, he carefully let the man go and
found himself with an armful of sweaty, blood-smelling
mercenary. But no sloppy lips on his face.
It took a few heartbeats to find his mental footing and
gingerly wrap an arm around his boss while he awkwardly
fished his gun up and over his shoulder, freezing when
Barney sighed into his chest, body turning so soft that
Lee worried he was going to slither to the ground. When
he finally looked up, Samwise caught Lee's eyes, looking
surprised as shit.
The older mercenary nodded to the fire being built in
their little clearing, "Go sit down. You just assigned
yourself Barney-duty, which excuses you from camp
chores."
--
Lee was trying to stomp on the automatic worried
annoyance at Doc asking for him. Man'd turned out to be
a decent enough guy, once he stopped trying to prove
something to Lee and the older guys. But those initial
reflexes still kicked in, every so often, and made Lee
automatically kick back.
Seeing him crouching over Barney, with blood-soaked rags
next to them, had him forgetting the annoyance
completely and just about diving for them as worry
flooded his bloodstream with adrenaline. "What the
hell??"
Barney turned his head on the folded up shirt it was
pillowed on to look at him tiredly, and waved a hand in
'settle down', "I'm fine, Lee, few stitches and I can
walk out fine."
By then Lee was kneeling besides them, distractedly
taking off his pack and the rest of the gear hanging on
him while he glared at Doc, knowing better than to take
Barney's word for *this*.
Doc rolled his eyes in what Lee read as agreement with
the glare. "I wouldn't say 'fine', but it's a clean
enough cut that missed doing major damage to the
muscles. With his stubbornness and painkillers and
someone to lean on, he'll hobble well enough."
Lee snorted, ignoring Barney's mock-insulted grumbles
and giving him the evil eye, "You *are* stubborn, don't
even try. And you *are* taking the painkillers *and* the
help or I'll have Gunner *carry* you out!"
That turned the grumbles to a silent furious glare.
Which Lee ignored as he cleared the ground around him
and sat himself more comfortably against Barney's side
while nodding at the watching medic, "Go ahead, Doc."
Doc's brows flew up in surprise, "You know what he gets
like?"
Wrapping a hand around Barney's shoulder automatically,
Lee gave Doc a confused look, " 'Course I do." As the
man finally got going with his damn needle, Lee caught
Barney's tight eyes, "Relax Barney. You've never broken
our Deal before, no reason for today to be any
different." The grunt he got in response made him at
least try to twitch a grin at the man, even though he
knew it probably failed to come through. Even if the
injury wasn't that bad, any field wound could get
infected. And they still needed to get out of here- he
taped his mike with a frown, "Caesar."
"Yo."
"Setup guard rotations. Two lines of two. Short shifts,
don't want anyone tired tomorrow."
"..I take it Barney's injured?"
"Yeah."
"Will do, boss."
"Thought he asked for you so he could put you in charge.
I take it that-"
Lee looked away from Doc's bent head as the man's voice
cut off and he felt Barney's shoulder suddenly go all
soft under his hand and met the mercenary's typical
morphined-up look. Once the eyes stopped blinking out of
control and focused on him, Lee gave him a firm look,
"You remember our Deal?"
After a minute of staring at Lee, one of Barney's hands
flung out to wrap around Lee's ankle as the man's
uncharacteristic smile widened and he practically
burbled, "Love you, man!"
Ignoring the medic's choked snicker, Lee tried to push
away the grief that twinged at him whenever he saw that
smile, and tightened his hand a little, "You and
morphine love the whole world, my friend. But our Deal
is: if you *don't* try to kiss people, then you can hug
me. Deal?"
The smile dimmed into a sad pout, just like it always
did, and Lee made himself stare into the kicked-puppy
look firmly until Barney sighed and grumbled 'Deal'; and
then started to shift.
"No!" Lee jerked forward to nail the man's shoulders to
the ground, "Barney, lay still, damn it!" The betrayed
look he got made him roll his eyes, "Fine. Yeah yeah, I
know. Just lay there and let *me* move, okay?" It took a
few seconds of staring for Barney to finally nod, and
then Lee hurriedly got up and crawled up besides his
head before looking at Doc, unsurprisingly staring at
him in disbelief, "He'll settle down in a minute and you
can get him sown up, I'm just going to shift his
shoulders a bit."
He didn't wait for an answer before lifting Barney's
shoulders enough to be able to sit down with his thigh
behind Barney's neck. "There. Best you can get until
Doc's done with you. Now relax, alright?" He kept a hand
on Barney's far shoulder to make sure he didn't start
shifting again, but still sighed in relief when the
drugged man accepted the compromise and turned his head
and slumped against Lee's side with fair contentment.
Lee looked up and met Doc's too-interested stare with
the blank look he'd developed years ago for just this
situation, "Might want to sit on that leg's knee in case
he gets it in his head to shift around, but he should be
alright, now."
Doc nodded slowly, "Done this before, I take it?"
Lee shrugged, turning his eyes to check the rest of the
camp coming together around them, "First time it
happened, I walked into camp to see one of the guys
about to hit Barney. Thought there was a mutiny and damn
near shot 'im."
"..Glad it wasn't me."
Thinking about it, Lee snorted agreement with a faint
smirk.
Barney stayed in his spot, and the rest of the crew
stayed away; no doubt the old guys had gotten to the
newcomers and given them a heads up to stay away from
drugged-up Barney. Trying not to shift on the pebble-y
ground and disturb his burden, Lee was glad the sky at
least looked clear. Early fall in the Czech Republic
wasn't a time he wanted to try to sleep soaked to the
bone.
"All done. You really going to let him paw you all
night?"
Lee just shook his head, too used to the attitude to
even associate the old annoyance with his one-time
nemesis, muttering more to himself than anything,
"What's so bad about getting hugged, anyway?" Seeing
that Barney was resting quietly, Lee carefully reached
for his pack and pulled out a ration bar and blanket,
nodding thanks when Doc handed him Barney's pack.
He found the extra coat Barney had stashed and put it
on, throwing both their blankets over Barney and setting
Barney's ration aside for when he stirred; then Lee
chewed at his supper while camp settled.
Watching over Barney like this had never felt like an
obligation, but these days it wasn't even an imposition.
Was relaxing and a time to let some of his usual
physical defences go and enjoy touch. He was pretty sure
Barney remembered most of these episodes, at least
pieces of them, and he hadn't said anything when Lee
started letting himself touch back. Just a finger
stroking back and forth wherever Barney landed it, or
twisting through hair, if he could sneak it. But it gave
Lee some much-needed grounding, somehow.
Better, even, than sleeping with Barney snugged up to
his front, for some reason.
--
Doc had made his way to Toll's side, stealing glances
behind him as he went; along with the rest of the team's
new members, he could see. It was just plain *weird* to
see **Barney** calmly laying in the middle of camp;
sleeping with his head in Christmas' lap!! Accepting a
mug of shitty coffee, he nodded at the show, "Kinda
shocked he actually admitted to things enough to *ask*
for Christmas."
Toll shrugged, "Guess it's more embarrassing to find out
he's tried to kiss his men then to ask a friend's help."
They sat staring for a few minutes, watching as Barney
stirred and sat up; and then leaned on Christmas'
shoulder, the brit's arm around him, to eat his bar.
"Used to be, you could almost see him fighting it; this
tense edge to him, even while he wrapped himself around
Christmas. But a few years ago... was like a switch went
off. Suddenly he'd just shut down. Hands himself..us too
I guess, off to Christmas, and just... rests."
Doc grunted, "Thought maybe he was just tired." It'd
been an unpleasant little escape after finishing their
little insertion show. They were all tired enough not to
fight as hard as they normally might.
Toll grimaced, reflexively stretching as he sat. "That
helps too. Pretty much any time he gets hurt that bad,
it's already been a long day. But even in the morning
he'll still be quiet. At least as long as Christmas is
with him. I remember one really fucked-up mission,
Christmas got stuck behind the lines. We didn't know if
he was prisoner or not, but Barney had got his arm shot
half off. It was...weird. He'd swing from his love the
world give us a kiss stupor to these random moments of
incoherent lashing out terror. Like some part of him
knew we had a man missing and was trying to fight
through the morphine. But his arm was so bad we couldn't
afford to let him wake enough to move it. Had to keep
him knocked out and strapped down the 36 hours it took
to find Christmas, hiding out with a broken leg, and get
them both to medical help. Bad mission."
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