The Matador
memorable quotes

*If they didn't include such coarse language (or more to the point, if society cast a more lenient eye to the latter), these would soo lighten up the Google daylie quotes.. or for that matter, a nice random email footer.. <VEG>
**copied the list from imdb.com and may end up adding to same..



Julian Noble Margaritas always taste better in Mexico.
Danny Wright They certainly do.
Julian Noble Margaritas and cock.

Julian Noble I'm as serious as an erection problem.

Julian Noble Sorry about the cock thing, it's kind of a conversation stopper.

[after just learning Julian lied about having a wife]
Danny Wright I mean, what else is a lie?
Bean Are you even an assassin?

[trying to convince Danny to help him on a hit]
Julian Noble Come on! It'll be a good time!
Danny Wright Oh, so now killing people is a good time?
Julian Noble ...Can be.

[after flirting with some Mexican schoolgirls]
Julian Noble I hate these Catholic countries. It's all blushy-blushy and no sucky-fucky.

Julian Noble I am a big fan of the "Everybody's got to pee" theory of assassination.

Julian Noble I look like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning, after the navy's left town.

Julian Noble I wouldn't do that for all the teenage twat in Thailand.

Julian Noble Just consider me the best cocktail party story you ever met.

Julian Noble I need a break. There's no retirement home for assassins is there? Archery at four. Riflery at five.

[a tree crashes through the kitchen as Danny and Bean make love on the table]
Danny Wright Still horny?

[to little boy]
Julian Noble Smell ya, shouldn't have to tell ya.

Julian Noble Danny, Danny! Danny with the large white fanny!

Genevive Mr. Noble, how are you today?
Julian Noble More importantly, how are you...
[looks at nametag]
Julian Noble ...Genevive?

Julian Noble An assassin without confidence is a horrible thing to behold. It's like a relief pitcher who fumbles the ball.
Danny Wright Please tell me you know you mixed two sports in a metaphor.
Julian Noble Huh? Yeah, I can't do that.

Julian Noble I want to retire to a beautiful little Greek island, filled with beautiful little Greeks!

Julian Noble I'd only be interested in your mother if she lost 20 pounds and 30 years.

Julian Noble My handler, Mr. Randy, contacted me the way he always does, through an ad in the International Tribune looking for cat sitters in Bali.

Julian Noble I lie when I need to, tell the truth when I can.

Bean Aren't we fucking cosmopolitan? Having a trained assassin stay overnight. Letting heartbreaking lies roll over us like a summer breeze.

Bean Did You bring your gun?
Julian Noble Yes, as a matter of fact.
Bean May I see it?
Julian Noble Really?
Bean Yes, please.

Mr. Randy Did you study the assignment?
Julian Noble No, I shredded it. Then I humped the bellboy on the room service cart.

Julian Noble I didn't mean to weird you out. I was wrong, please. I just get paranoid sometimes. I'm drunk. I'm tired, and I've just been fornicating for the past two hours, and before that I was doing shit - horrible business shit.

Julian Noble I'm the relief pitcher in the bottom of the ninth... and I've fumbled the ball.

Hotel Bartender 1 How you here for business or pleasure, sir?
Julian Noble My business is my pleasure.

Mr. Randy Goddamn it, Julian, you leave the game, even for a while, I don't know if they'll gonna let you back in. And then what the hell are you gonna do? Waste your days picking up illiterate teenagers for suck-and-fuck sessions behind the Old Navy store?
Julian Noble Sounds delightful to me.

[discussing possible escape routes]
Danny Wright That door over there, if it weren't locked.
Julian Noble A Vietnamese girl I once knew had her legs so locked together I couldn't get a whiff of her spring roll. Two drinks, half a quaalude later, I was at an all you can eat buffet. Every lock can be broken. It's just a matter of will and whether it's worth it.
 


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